When I was in the second grade, my teacher told our class to draw our dream homes. With underdeveloped motor skills, I sketched a masterpiece – a twelve story narrow abode circled by a rollercoaster, a skatepark in the backyard, a wave pool for surfing, and a hockey rink. A helicopter landing pad on the roof functioned as a delivery depot for food, supplies, what have you. Sometimes I miss that sense of anything’s possible imagination, but other times I don’t. What I’d like to tell my second-grade self is the liability insurance for a rollercoaster circling a home would be outlandish, not to mention the permitting.
In some ways, innovative technology companies don’t seem to be governed by the same hyper-realism that would make my pre-adolescent home a complete and utter fantasy. Apple’s patented a pizza box for their new campus; Google employees can enjoy a pool, sand volleyball court, and more at the company’s headquarters; Uber is branching out into helicopter ride sharing; and now one UK food delivery service, Deliveroo, will reportedly begin delivering food to beachgoers by jet ski. What a time to be alive.
“We are always looking for new and innovative ways to deliver our food in the most efficient and convenient way possible to Deliveroo customers,” a company spokesperson told CityAM. “Knowing that so many of us enjoy the beach at this time of year presented us with the perfect opportunity to trial our jet ski deliveries, making sure customers didn’t miss the last rays of sunshine while enjoying delicious dishes straight from our restaurant partners.”
Trials have begun at the coastal town of Bournemouth, and local residents aren’t happy.
“This is hilarious – restaurants are in cycling distance of the beach and the fuel cost on a jetski would far out weigh what Deliveroo pay per drop makes zero sense,” said one commenter on a story that appeared in the area’s local paper.
Will the idea spread across the pond? Will amateur jet skiers-slash-delivery guys start cutting through lineups to deliver pizza to sandy Americans, spraying surfers in the process? So many questions…