Professional Surfer
Ace Buchan Surfs Tahiti

"I can already hear the cries from the “purists” that professionalism is causing surfing to lose its soul," writes Ace Buchan. "But is it a crime to want to be your best, and to commit everything to that?" Ace Buchan, giving his best in Tahiti. Photo: ASP/Kirstin

The Inertia

If you could measure a sport’s popularity by the level of debate and scrutiny that it attracts, I would say surfing has never been more loved. And I’m not just talking about the World Tour. The world of surfing is incredibly diverse, with so many sub genres under the sport’s umbrella, pro surfing and the World Tour are but a few embers in a very healthy fire.

Personally, the last 12 months on Tour have been the most challenging for me as a surfer and as a person since I qualified in 2005, but I’ve never been as excited for the start of the next season as I am now. Although surfing is an individual sport, it can get lonely on the road, and we are all a big traveling family – so losing Andy was incredibly difficult and made us all look around and appreciate just how much surfing has given us. Couple that with the changes to the competitive format and subsequent loss of one third of the guys, and it’s definitely a new system undergoing teething problems.

Everyone has a lot of questions, and I’’ll be the first to admit that the structure isn’t perfect. But as I look back at last season, I’ve come to the conclusion that all the best guys in the world are in the Top 34, and the performances that I have seen over the past year were undeniably of the highest standard.

Stylistically, the diversity is also outstanding.  Not since Kelly, Dorian, Machado and co. burst onto the scene and rattled the established guard has there been such a great range of surfing styles.

From Gabriel Medina at 17 to Taylor Knox at 40, we are representing numerous generations: from the Momentum to Cooly Kids to the Modern Collective and beyond. Also, and this has not been commented on as much, the diversity in locations is allowing all different styles to flourish. Nothing exemplifies the aforementioned more than Kieren Perrow’s win and subsequent re-qualification at Pipe last week. Far from the favorite at places like Trestles and Rio, KP knows that when the waves get serious his chances of a big result rise exponentially. Every one on Tour has their strengths and weaknesses, but the schedule demands excellence across all venues, and that’s why winning the World Title is such a great feat.

The Tour is super elite now that it’s only 32 guys, and I believe, long term it, it will be in the best interest of the sport to re-expand out to incorporate more surfers and allow the status quo to be challenged. Right now there is a very large and somewhat disillusioned middle class of surfers competing on the Prime Tour, which is only seeing the very best rise to the top. Nonetheless, the cut in numbers created by Kelly’s Rebel Tour has resulted in better event sites, webcasts, and treatment of the surfers.  The new format has seen the best guys at each event performing more often. Those have been big wins for the sport, and they give us a blueprint going forward.

The Renaissance in board experimentation by a larger percentage of the guys on Tour mirrors a larger trend with boards becoming more forgiving. Wider, thicker, and shorter just happened to coincide with a year in which we saw three “Big City events” that lent themselves to these shapes and allowed fans to relate to pro surfers in a way that was impossible earlier, when we rode low-volume, heavily-rockered remnants of Kelly’s “glass slippers” in perfect waves of far flung destinations on low bandwidth webcasts.

I can hear the cries from the Dream Tour fans who don’t want to see the world’s best battle in two-foot Huntington or closed out Rio…and frankly I’d prefer to be standing in ten-foot Teahupo’o or flying down the line on groomed corduroy at J-Bay, but I do believe that by going to places like Rio, HB, and NY, we can give competitive surfing fans something tangible that is very unique to our sport and very relevant to the current state of surfing. Also, performing in front of a big, engaged crowd where the top guys are pushed to new levels of excellence adds another dynamic to the Tour – one we lack in the jungle and the tropics.

If you’ve watched Modern Collective or Lost Atlas you’ll know that the best waves for progressive surfing are far from the preconceived notion of the ideal conditions. Yes, getting bums on bleachers and fans through “brand experiences” are all part of Corporate Boardshort Management 101, but bringing those rampy, skate-bowl-like canvasses to the Tour is imperative in maintaining its status as the benchmark of high performance all-around surfing.

Continued on page 2…

1 2

  • ctwalrus

    nicely said< Ace!   it's good to hear from the actual pros on their view of that which we babble about online and in the mags……You just got to get the word from those who actually 'do it'……..

  • Al Baydough

    Very well stated. Not in total agreement but definitely a good defense.

  • wills

    Thank you Hurley/Nike for those words.

    • Another Wills

      You clearly don’t know anything about Ace, that was 100% written by him. He’s one of the smartest, most eloquent surfers on tour. I think it’s rad he’s come out here and voiced his opinions, there are thousands of faceless critics on the web claiming to know everything, but when a guy like Ace talks we should listen… You don’t have to agree, but you also don’t have to assume there’s a corporate motive behind everything…

      • Al Baydough

        With you. I’ve had a few conversations with Ace and he was always the articulate and humble gentleman. And the kid has balls in the scary stuff.

  • Wsimmons83

    The comment on page the page 2 misquotes Ace’s statement from page 1. What’s up with that?

  • Wsimmons83

    The comment on page the page 2 misquotes Ace’s statement from page 1. What’s up with that?

  • Tshel3279

    Agreed this is right on point. There r to many variables in surfing. It’s never gonna b perfect anywhere all the time. Even pipe isn’t perfect every day! People crying cause the tour should b held in the best waves no matter what. NY finals were insane. Trestles great wave. But this year was weak. Rio who cares. Tahiti and pipe insane but not every year. Even jbay wasn’t at its best. U cant have it all. Im pretty sure the sport is peaking higher and higher every day. Anyone who surfs knows the waves turn on when they want and only when they want. I cant believe people are so critical of it. Really if u think it’s so wrong the way things r run than don’t watch it. I know there isn’t anything id rather c when a contest is on. Except maybe myself dropping in on something nice and fast.

  • Blasphemy Rottmouth

    I disagree with pretty much everything Ace said. BUT, he is one of the smartest guys on tour (I know – that’s not saying much). Once a real tour is established, Ace and Shea Lopez should be involved.

    • Brainchild

      Oh, that’s all right then.   So long as he has the Laird’s seal of approval….

      Given that you’re the most vociferous critic of professional surfing’s status quo, would you not agree that your throwaway response – “I disagree with pretty much everything Ace said” – to a thoughtful piece by one of the current tour’s own is intellectual laziness in the extreme??

      So, to be clear: what, precisely, is your vision for “a real tour”?    

      • The Roller


        His vision is constantly blurry.

        lil miss rottkamp can’t see past his next round of hard liquor and prescription meds.

      • Blasphemy Rottmouth

        Have you not paid attention to Media 2.o, my own blog, and the world outside this dense forest?

        While you call yourself a Brain of a Child, I still have a hard time figuring you are just another “Steve Shearer” tagging along… nipping at the coattails of people who went to school, got educated, became successful in the real world, and are now, SUDDENLY, becoming the voice of reason in a world previously owned by the intellected handed down by your mother and father, who are also your uncle and aunts.

        Mike Mantalos laid out a plan on this very website that was a mere comment on my blog many moons ago for a “real tour.” It was rejected by Brodie Carr at the time. Big Suprise.

        I disagree with everything Ace says because it’s status quo. It’s scripted bullshit. Nothing new or interesting, except it comes from someone who can stand up and ride a wave better than you or I.

        Twitter makes this blog irrelevant anyway. As we speak, people are already discussing Michael Tomsons DUI / Hit and Run / Cocaine arrests… from a week ago.

        EVERYTHING I talked about in my second to last blog post is coming true, BrainCHILD.

        So sit and watch.

        Smart people… smart SURFERS, exists outside The Inertia.

        • Blasphemy Rottmouth

          In lame man’s terms for you brainCHILD, my blog laid our NUMEROUS plans to a tour that would appeal to real surfers. Over and over. Rejected by people who were since fired. No suprise the people reading the blog at the time weren’t interested as they are all fighting Chapter 11, tak-overs, paying off debt, or… they just don’t care about SURFING… which was obvious from the start.
          Wake up kid. I know you read my words.
          Bring some cells. I need to borrow some. Or keep your trap shut.

          • Brainchild

            Ah, yes, your blog!  Of which words  should I take especial note?  The mysogynistic lustings ill-disguised as pseudo-intellectual babblings about the bottoms of 5 women, per or the part where say, apropos Shirley Manson, “I would felch Vienna sausages out of a dead
            hobo’s ass just for the privilege of listening to Shirley’s grandmother’s
            terror farts through a screen door as frantically dials 9-1-1 for the county
            sheriff to come take me off her front porch.  I would f* a swimming pool filled with dry
            Cheerios and pig snouts just so I could lick the freezer burn off her neighbor’s
            frozen hamburger meat.  What I mean is, I
            sure would like to stick my pot roast into her crock pot, per 

            Ah, no, I see what you mean.  You want us, the reading public, to take you seriously.  And why wouldn’t we, when you can turn such a wonderful paragraph as:

            “Sometime after the main hall had been completed, a Real Rabbit came along and offered to fortify the sand around the concrete pilings. His idea met with initial hesitation, but was eventually conceded to. Granite was brought in by Dream Tour Construction and Organics Rivalry Inc., to shore up the already sagging foundation. The rocks bolstered everyone’s confidence for the length of an historic vapor. But those rocks began to break down under the extreme bureaucratic weight of the temple above. Consequently, the Real Rabbit was excommunicated in favor of a Lamb named Carr. The Lamb did not have ideas. The Lamb listened. The Lamb smiled. The Elders loved their Lamb. And all was merry as the eroding sand was forgotten.” 

            You, my demented, delusional and, lately, deadly dull, friend, are a fraud on the system.  

          • The Roller

            “demented, delusional and, lately, deadly dull, friend, are a fraud on the system”..With the  character Doug Dannger, Phil Hendry has had this little miss rottkamp  sussed for years.

        • LittleTopaz

          How do you know everything? You seem to know everything. Really.

          Do you take issue with Ace supporting drug testing?

          How come you expect people to pore over everything you’ve ever written? I don’t think Shakespeare or Hesse or Melville or Hawthorne or Poe or Friedman or Krugman or Oprah or Hawthorne or Rand or Woodward or Emerson or Dostoevsky or Joyce  any passionate writer would answer someone who disagrees with him by insisting they find a bunch of stuff they’ve written. I suspect they’d just answer them.

          And, when someone writes the collection of stories you’re hoping to read to your satisfaction that includes all the lurid details you seem to already know, will you be happy? Or is it the antagonism you enjoy?

          And again, how do you know everything remotely related to the surf industry’s most embarrassing lows? What happened to you? To everyone? Who are you?

          And how do you find so much time, emotion, and effort to express such consistent disapproval of anything not penned by you or the individuals who support you?

          Will you be happy? I hope you will and you’re able to move on one day – expending as much effort on something beautiful as you spend on bringing justice to surf world transgressions. Yeah, they need to come to light. They will. But there are more important things, too. You know that. And I hope it’s not the publishing of those stories that makes you happy.

          • Blasphemy Rottmouth

            It’s easy Topaz. I’m smart.

          • Blasphemy Rottmouth

            Go to school. Learn to think. All that jazz. So sweet, smooth and free…

          • Blasphemy Rottmouth

            So many words you use… so little effect. Like the Asp.

          • LittleTopaz

            I was hoping to learn the answers to those questions. I think you do too. Best of luck to you in finding those answers.

          • Al Baydough

            Smarter than everyone else, BR? You alone corner the market on all things rational and reasonable? Even my ridiculous ass would never make so megalomaniacal a claim. And I think I’m God.

          • Blasphemy Rottmouth


            I have a masters degree from Yale University with a minor in Criminal Law.

            Don’t embarrass yourself any further.

          • Atticus

            Ha ha…gotcha! Anonymous no more.

            I knew your ego would let you down eventually.

          • Trumbledor

            Who cares?

          • Al Baydough

            Whatever. I’ve known plenty of other megalomaniacal asshats with better “credentials.” Your intellect and ego are as frail and two dimensional as the paper tigers they’re printed on. If I was wrong about that you would never have come to these boards to begin with. Just another sad little boy pining for his rose bud.

          • Blasphemy Rottmouth

            Well, there you went and did it. Now, fold up that little book of cliches next to your computer and try to write something creative. Or join Twitter, where NOW is NOW.

          • Al Baydough

            Sorry, I don’t subscribe to the sound bite psychosis. And you’re about the most predictable hater on here. But that’s the nature of hate.

          • Al Baydough

            Whatever. I’ve known plenty of other megalomaniacal asshats with better “credentials.” Your intellect and ego are as frail and two dimensional as the paper tigers they’re printed on. If I was wrong about that you would never have come to these boards to begin with. Just another sad little boy pining for his rose bud.

        • Elis

          Subject verb disagreement. Final sentence. You now represent a Yale Master degree with a minor in criminology. Do us proud, bulldog.

        • TripleDouble

          Are you serious? Why would anyone have read anything you’ve written?

        • Erik

          “…who can stand up and ride a wave better than you or I.”

          I was also editing you way back on Postsurf.  Haven’t you learned yet to say “you or me” when necessary?  As in, if Wilco was to donate a vial of his gonorrhea infused man milk to the surfing anti-bard, would he donate it to you or me?

        • Al Baydough
        • Pattiecannon

          Hey  Rottkamp,  we’re here, and believe me,  it’s safe to say only the very boredest of us will go read what you have to say at DUMBCHILD. So speak up here, and tell us your view for how the elite surfers should be competing for our entertainment? Feel free, of course, to use whatever rating structures of the ASP that suit your imaginings and to dicard others or even to slip into the self induced trance like state from whence forth springs the usual time wasting crap we see under your name.

    • The Roller

      Other than gulping down prescription pills with your booze on a daily basis Ms. Rottkamp,  you know nothing about professional surfing.

      To prove the point, when was the last time you actually caught some waves?Yea, drive thru!

  • The Roller

    Ace, your points are completely valid. Thanks for posting up this article clarifying things as they currently are.

    One question, what do you think of the slight reduction in prize money for 2012?

  • Georgep62

    Wow this is insight from somebody who actually knows what they’re talking about, and unless you are all members of the elite I don’t think your opinion really has any weight. Maybe some people should take some time to read up on the reasoning behind the ASP’s decision making…. Way to maintain surfing’s drop kick persona. 

  • Blasphemy Rottmouth

    Moderated. Media 1.0. heh heh. Have fun Zach.

  • bert

    Adrian Buchan seems to have think of the tour and its implications, and I’m not sure all those guys in the top 50 could have done the same…
    I disagree with drug testing…It seems useless…Recreational drugs are easily found, but do not help in surfing professionaly, while performance drugs are much more difficult to find and as much dangerous for the athletes. The example of cycling is eloquent. All past winners were completely into drugs in the Tour de France, but money and cheating enable them to avoid anything but small penalties. It would be very difficult for sponsors to agree with real penalties in the tour. Imagine that what happened to Martinez could happen to 5 or 10 of the guys in the top 34? In the Quik pro in France, BTW, it seems to me there are already drug tests…for the french. (I recall J Flo raised it as an issue a couple of years ago…)

    • Al Baydough

      “Recreational drugs are easily found, but do not help in surfing…” 

       There are a lot of big wave chargers on meth that would disagree with this statement. Strongly. For an “educated” dude your research skills are lacking. Maybe you should read fewer books and spend more time doing field research. Make sure to go over your criteria and methodology thoroughly beforehand and keep an open mind for those random variables that will undoubtedly skew your findings.

    • Businesssurfer

      Don’t forget a subtle agenda: ASP (Pro Surfing) + ISA (Amateur) + Formal Drug Testing = criteria for Olympics consideration.

  • Dandaman

    Al. Do you really think that kind of (Madoff)comment warrants a response?
    You’re only encouraging him. Same with Frankcarrbrew Psycho Bunny.

    • Al Baydough

      Boredom makes you do crazy things. Sometimes it’s fun to poke the hive and take a sting or two. Good thing I don’t have any allergies. Point taken all the same. 

  • Al Baydough

    Thanks. I needed a good laugh to start my day. BTW, Merry Whatever-It-Is-You-Celebrate-This-Holiday. Wish I could be there to buy you a nog & rum.

     Now, pardon me, there’s some mashed potatoes that require some “attention.” Gotta have the gravy! 

  • Al Baydough

    Thanks. I needed a good laugh to start my day. BTW, Merry Whatever-It-Is-You-Celebrate-This-Holiday. Wish I could be there to buy you a nog & rum.

     Now, pardon me, there’s some mashed potatoes that require some “attention.” Gotta have the gravy! 

  • Al Baydough

    Merry Christmas to you as well! Now, off to some choice grinds with the fam!

  • Al Baydough

    Are you drunk?

     I have never once said that anyone on here didn’t have the right to say what they wanted to. Apparently you have a problem with my disagreeing with people. The irony is barely visible under all that dirty hypocrisy. Might I suggest a swig of Mr. Clean?

  • Swsupp

    Matey Mate, no reason, all this can’t go down at Jbay either! Would be even better than 1 ft Rio don’t you think ?
    “World best surfers in the worlds best waves”

  • Lucas

    Well written


    Great to see some honesty and great to see you in the water the arvo mixing it with your mates.

  • Paigehouden

    Well put Ace! 

  • jd

    This was a very sensible article and I agree with most of it.  The funny thing about the New York contest is that I was nervous that; a) it would create a whole new wave of wannabe surfers to take to the lineup and/or b) the waves wouldn’t show up and it would be as painful to watch on a webcast as Rio was this year (thereby not being a good representation of the potential of Long Beach).  

    And as it happened, my expectations were shattered on many fronts.  First, the opportunity to see the true talent and ability of the pros in person was truly awe inspiring and can’t be overstated.  To paddle out and see a Gudauskas brother shredding on a wave as I’m paddling back out…. Wow.  There were pros everywhere, not just the tour elite.  To be honest, pro surfers aren’t generally put on a pedestal here like perhaps elsewhere, so I wasn’t sure what to expect.

    Also, the waves delivered big time.  With all the pros, it was great because every Jetty was alight.   If you needed some space, it was easy to find one virtually to yourself with pumping waves, especially the day of the finals when it was really pumping.  That raises another valuable point… most surfers can identify the psych up video part that we watch before a session.  Imagine watching the pros in person.  I was full frothing even if it was also humbling.

    My fear of overexposing a place that is already crowded year round ended up misplaced as well.  The energy from the packed crowd was impressive.  Not too disimilar to the type of energy that you encounter at Yankee stadium.  People didn’t come to see a curiosity.  People came in droves well informed and totally stoked!  All without the benefit of a half pipe and a concert stage!  It was pure surfing. 

    My only real qualm was what Adrian Buchan referred to as the brand experience.  In today’s media/brand saturated environment, most people crave authentic experiences.  It is the brand’s responsibility to deliver that feeling without banging us on head.  On one hand, I can appreciate the Quiksilver’s desire to actually make money on the event let alone prevent a huge loss but forcing the crowds through that makeshift store before entering the event site was idiotic and insulting.  The cliche of being compared to a herd of cattle would not be inappropriate.

    As a whole, I find my self, originally a huge skeptic, disappointed that the ASP is not coming back.  Adrian makes a good point that there really should be a beach break like Long Beach, with crowds, just as there are locations like remote Cloudbreak.

    Finally, as I think about Quiksilver  and major brand sponsorship as a whole, I would like to humbly suggest to Mr. Buchan that the professional/comp branch of the sport will grow much faster and healthier when the pros take more control from the brands and figure out how to create media continuity between events.  You guys deserve so much more than the need to rely on the benevolent patronage of the major companies.  While you need their support and they ought to get something in return, the balance seems too much in their favor.

    Wow, this was really long and maybe it would have been better to post it as comment on the article about the cancellation of NY. I guess it was this article that inspired it though.  Hope people find it useful….

  • Pattiecannon

    mate you are so far out of the ball park i’m wondering if you need a bit more oxygen pumped into your satellite.
    But thanks for making some clear cut suggestions for us to debate. That is a positive in any forum.
    You’re on the right track trying to shake things up and make the whole tour more vital for every surfer on it but why give equal points to QS  guys and then not give then a card until the end of the year? Sorry dude that’s not a cohesive strategy.

    Point 1 – ” Equal points for top 8 or so places for both Prime and Tour”
    What? Lets just give the 2 star event guys a go while we’re at it! Some of those guys are pretty good! But how are you gonna score the remaining 26 places for each event? Very complex dude. Hit the “Nurse!” button before your brain reaches even more dangerous levels of dumbness.
    The whole reason to  have heavily weighted contests is because the tour guys are way heavier in the water. It’s not that the QS guys can’t surf as good it’s because the CT guys are proven under competitive pressure.

    Point 2 -” Tour to be held in the “worlds best waves”
    This is your most argueable suggestion. You were in a nice place when you thought this one up.
     However the ASP has put a lot of work in here and they have struck up a nice balance. Ace already cleared this one up for us. One point this raises is ‘what happened to the “Search” event?

    Point 3 – “Top 34 cut over at year end only”
    You have your wish and it is a step back to the stone age. So elitist and nepotistic it makes me choke on my guacamole dipped doritos.
    This is a major flaw in the system. Ace talks about the disoriented “middle class” of the tour elite. One minute you’re trying to put pressure on these guys and the next you’re giving them egg and lettuce sandwiches at the safe home for under performing pro surfers. Shake this up by doing the opposite of what you suggest. Make the 34 for every event the top 34 of the World Rankings. Or rotate the bottom 4 or 6 at least. This keeps pro surfing up to date and relevent compared to tennis and golf . In fact it will put surfing definitively ahead of all these sports because you have to beat all the top guys at every event to wear the yellow jersey.  Forget the “cutoff”, they’ll be new faces every event! This will ensure that you have your wish of more top level guys competing at Prime events and will push the “middle class” harder than ever before.

    Guys like Chris Davidson, Freddie P, and Kieran Perrow will never have had it so good.

    • Al Baydough

      You eat Doritos and you’re telling this guy he needs to hit the nurse button? All those preservatives and dyes are making you loopy.

       The midyear cut is all hype; sponsors who want to get more light on “fresh” faces and push those who slogged into a ditch. Medina and JJF ripped but they didn’t necessarily push anyone else’s performances and if the format isn’t pushing EVERYONE to lift their game then there’s no point to it; you’re just splashing day-glo paint all over a tired heat format. Besides, I like my war horses and want to see them run a full year. That’s an honest chance. Too many examples of guys who got on a late-season roll proves the point. Yes, Medina killed it but he would have the following year anyway. And if France and OB had been kegging the results would have been quite different, as Medina’s play-it-safe strategy at Pipe clearly showed. If I recall, Nick Wood won at Bells at what, 15? Occy, Potter, Horan… all won at very young ages on a tour that was much more grueling.

       You really want to draw a bigger audience you need to use the overlapping heat format as it insures more continuous action, demonstrates superior heat savvy and strategy (as opposed to the stupid “tactics” that morons bring to local lineups because it’s what they see in contests), and gets the event wrapped up sooner. You also need to adopt a format that more closely resembles an expression session: instead of best two waves scored (which inhibits performances, as Dane noted) it would be better to judge the overall performance put in by each. It would help to reduce the subjective and totally erratic judging (which the video review has failed to eliminate, oddly enough). Sure, it reduces some of the beachside drama but seeing as how your web audience is much bigger that shouldn’t be an issue. OR… try the skins format (though that would get rid of the judging panel altogether – hmmmm…. would that really be a bad thing?).

       BTW, Gerlach’s The Game format had spectators much more engaged in the action, from what I experienced at the few I attended. 

      • Pattiecannon

        Hey Al,
        Thanks for your comments but it’s time you went back to your sandpit and played with your War Horses or maybe you’re too busy at Dungeons and Dragons? This is the 21st Century man wake up!
        “tired heat format

        ” What, now you’re a revolutionary with your War Horses and their 12month holiday in the middle zone nowhere land for lost professional surfers? did you watch a round 4 this year?
        And what’s all this gooble dook about “Wrapping up the event quicker”?
        The longer these go the better I say! The journey is the destination, the end always comes too soon. Go back to your 80’s reruns of Bells m8.

        “Medina and JJF ripped but they didn’t necessarily push
        anyone else’s performances

        I don’t know what comp you watched but Ah, dude they both beat Kelly. Is that pushing EVERYONE enough for ya?

        and OB had been kegging the results would have been quite different”

        Again, we musta watched different comps, I was watching the ones where Owen got tubes and Medina threw full rotes in overhead clean conditions.

        play-it-safe strategy at Pipe”   
        Man, what’s the air like up there in far outer space? like at the event I watched Medina did what everyone else who made the quaters did, Charged! No disgrace in losing to the eventual event Champion. How many new school airs did you see landed? I saw none, though quite a few launched them, conditions weren’t right.

        Al, you have your war horses for another year but you must wonder why the head of the ASP was asked to retire over a very small error that could have easily been laughed off if all the honchos were on the same page. They weren’t. Those that supported this LAME AND GUTLESS format that certainly doesn’t push EVERYONE in the field especially your WAR HORSES, HAHA,  as has been seen ad nausium for years, have had the blood cleaned off their brush hooks and have had their nice little secret handshake and ordered egg and lettuce sandwiches for EVERYONE! – boring dude. Things have changed since last you were on this planet. Obviously you and the current head of the ASP haven’t been paying attention.
        Nice of you to come in and say a bunch of outdated, irrational and uneducated stuff but. Thanks for helping wash the dayglo graffiti(Nasty anarchistic punks-who do they think they are!) away from the reassuring walls of the  turn of the century and proper way to surf inc. establishments  , we’re not ready for all  that much excitement in this nursing home thank you very much!

Join The Inertia Family 

Only the best. We promise.