What are you doing? You’re shitting on something beautiful! Point Break is beautiful! You’re shitting on it! Why would you shit on it!?
Hi. We’re Al and Ted. Today was the final day of our Billabong Pipe Masters coverage. Turns out that we just got some photos of Juan the cockroach, the back of someone’s head, and an 11-year-old boy getting the photo of his life. Also, Ted realized he’s super famous and got a neck tattoo.
Hi. We’re Al and Ted. Today was a lay day for the Pipe contest, so we decided that we’d do some big wave training for the upcoming swell. Training is difficult though, so we mostly just ate radioactive fish and scowled at rainbows.
We’re Al and Ted. We’ve decided to cover the Billabong Pipeline Masters by taking photos of cock chasing, James Franco, and the newest Triple Crown champion, Ted.
Ever been unsuccessfully corrected by the little brain in your smartphone when texting? You’re not alone. Well, we’ve collected an assortment of ridiculous, surfy autocorrects. Some are explicit. Because iPhones are dirty.
There really is a lot more to The Billabong Pipe Masters than the wave itself. We’ll get an actual photographer’s photos to show you the surfing action, but for this piece, you’ll have to make do with amateur photos of porta-potties and dogs wearing hats.
I usually tell other people at the hostel or campsite that I am rehabbing an injury I got while surfing or snowboarding. I know that sounds pathetic, but in a tragic way, it’s better than telling them that I “just enjoy running.”
Ball chafe is the worst. Like, the worst. Walking around all bow-legged like we’ve been riding an extra wide horse for a week, grimacing while trying to look casual – it’s bad. But there is relief, thank God. I’ve taken the liberty of testing some ball chafe remedies for you. And no, there will not be photos.
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