The Inertia Founder
Science! But more people should listen to the fella. He's Turtle! Image: The Inertia

Science! But more people should listen to the fella. He’s Turtle! Image: The Inertia


The Inertia

Last winter when we got to Haleiwa, we were standing on the beach at Backyards checking the surf when John Philbin, the man who played Turtle in the campy 1987 cult classic film North Shore, walked up to us with an ear to ear grin and asked if we were paddling out. We most certainly were. Any excitement we had from just arriving in the sound and fury of the North Shore in December just revved to eleven knowing that a session with the Turtle man himself was in the cards.

It was just a few of us in the water, and he was frothing. In true barney fashion, I caught a smaller wave at the beginning of a larger set, and I’m almost certain he said something to the effect of not being here when the wave is breaking there. He didn’t say those words exactly. Of that, I’m certain. But I wanted him to. I imagined it happening. And after getting caught on the inside on some scraggly coral reef, I was certainly listening. Just listen to Turtle, hey. 

Turtle just don't give a shit. Image: Screenshot

“I can tell you’re lame by the way you wear your shorts.” Image: North Shore

Editor’s Note: Thanks for checking out our fifth installment of the very simple, very true series Sick Graphs, where we illustrate unequivocal truths in surf, mountain, and outdoor sports. Check out past installments here. And if you’d like to suggest a topic to address, shoot us a note or hashtag it #SickGraphs on Instys, and we’ll have a gander.

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