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Keep a sharp eye out for shoulder dislocations or wardrobe malfunctions.

Keep a sharp eye out for shoulder dislocations or wardrobe malfunctions.


The Inertia

What do one of the baddest rap groups (N.W.A) ever created and the world of bodysurfing have in common? Nothing – until NOW. Not NOW, that shit music compilation you bought when you were still wearing Stussy Clothing, but NOW as in the present.*

Back to the measure at hand. The relationship with N.W.A. and bodysurfing is something called Straight Outta Wompton. It’s the world’s first bodysurfing competition on a standing wave at the Wavehouse in Mission Beach, CA. The event, being held September 6th, is complete with gold chains, bandanas, denim, boom boxes, breakdancing, and a bunch of other stereotypical ’90s gangster things that would get Reverend Jesse Jackson all up on my publicist’s ass.

Lounging. No more public housing.

Lounging. No more public housing.

Well, the joke’s on you Reverend, because we don’t have a publicist! And we don’t know what the hell is “gangster”…so we used “the google”…and that’s what “came up.” BAM! Remember, anybody can sign up — you don’t need to be a womping guru. You just need to hand over your hard earned drug monies.

So what’s this all about? This is about having a bar that serves alcoholic beverages literally 15 feet from a perfect 8-foot left just peeling off barrels for days. This is about watching guys and gals brave wardrobe malfunctions and separated shoulders for the chance to be crowned Wompton Winner. This is about being Rad Miracle, tilting the head back of that head cheerleader and planting one on her while sneaking in a boob grab – because you go for broke. This is about entertainment for the masses. So come join the circus (anybody can sign up and compete), go dressed as a clown, and know that Ice Cube personally endorses this event.**

*NOW music now has 51 volumes. Look it up. So laugh all you want, but those assholes are banking hard.
**That last part isn’t true at ALL. But here’s a little known fact: Ice Cube (original member of N.W.A.) got his rap name from being so slick and slippery on a wave. Ok, that’s not true either.

 
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