Writer/Surfer
4th of July is as much about  survival as it is having fun.

4th of July – survival of the fittest.


The Inertia

“The Fourth of July is to be enjoyed outside.” I’m sure that was something one of the founding fathers uttered on the first celebration of America’s independence day – I just can’t remember which one.

Well, the annual holiday that embodies summer is finally upon us, which means a lot of B’s. Beach. Barbecue. Beer.

Sure you could enjoy the holiday weekend with all the gear you’ve got, and if you plan to make your stake on the beach you better do it now. But before you do it, maybe it’s time to make sure you’ve got the essentials. For your checklist pleasure, and for additional inspiration, look no further than the expertly curated survival guide below.

Attire:

“Clothes make the man (and woman),” so they say. Your 4th of July wear has to accomplish two very different things: it must be functional, but also make a statement. So let’s quite literally start from the top and work our way down.

Better to show your spirit with stars and stripes on a big hat than lobster red skin that makes you feel blue. Photo: O'Neill

Better to show your spirit with stars and stripes on a big hat than lobster red skin that makes you feel blue. Photo: O’Neill

1. Wide-brimmed straw hat

These puppies are inexpensive and will save your schnoz and the rest of your face and neck from melanoma. With extended periods of outdoor enjoyment to be had, don’t be the guy or gal who’s rubbing aloe vera on your body when it’s time for apple pie.

Doesn't matter what you wear or how you wear 'em. Get some shades to protect those corneas. Photo: BBC News

Doesn’t matter what you wear or how you wear ’em. Get some shades to protect those corneas. Photo: BBC News

2. Sunglasses

Another must. While a more expensive option, polarized lenses offer extra protection, but bottom line: if you’re gonna be outside save your vision.

American pride means wrapping your tootsies in Old Glory for the world to see. Photo: Stance

American pride means wrapping your tootsies in Old Glory for the world to see. Photo: Stance

3. Socks

What better way to demonstrate your patriotism than show off our nation’s symbol somewhere on your body. T-shirts are old news, as is the bikini or the speedo. Sure you could do stars and stripes parachute pants à la Rex Kwon Do from Napoleon Dynamite, but who’s got time? Instead, get your hands, er feet, on these babies and rep your country on two more unexpected limbs.

Hydration:

Experts say exposure to the sun and/or heat for long durations requires lots of hydration. In this case, be sure your prepared with one or both of the following to insure you’re not Tom Hanks in Castaway come mid-day.

Stop! Water break. Photo: Daily Mail

Stop! Water break. Photo: Daily Mail

1. Camelbak

If you enjoy having two hands free to do things at all times, the Camelbak is for you. Plus, most come with additional storage possibilities for the rest of your Fourth survival gear (see below).

Kelly drank out of a reusable water bottle after that 720 in Portugal. Ipso facto, if you use a reusable water bottle you'll land a 720. Period. Photo: Youtube

Kelly drank out of a reusable water bottle after that 720 in Portugal. Ipso facto, if you use a reusable water bottle you’ll land a 720. Period. Photo: Youtube

2. Water bottle

Eco-friendly traditionalists, however, might prefer the classic: the reusable water bottle. Nalgene, is a good go-to if you prefer hard plastic, Mizu if you prefer metal, and Arrowhead if you don’t so much care for the environment but are in a fiscal pinch.

Adult hydration:

(Disclaimer: You must be 21 years old or over to read this section.)

The Fourth of July is all about celebrating. It’s a birthday of sorts. But the best kind: it’s America’s birthday. She skips the cake and goes right to the beer and mixed drinks. So, if you plan to indulge like so many across America, you might consider the following transport mechanisms.

On the 4th, the party is where the beer is. Carry your beer with you, and you are the party. Photo: Burton

On the 4th, the party is where the beer is. Carry your beer with you, and you are the party. Photo: Burton

1. Beer sling

If you’re the kind that doesn’t enjoy getting up to go to the fridge between beers, this ones for you. Burton’s beeracuda is a sling that fits 5 beers in the back with a nifty beer cozey on the strap for your current beer. If Robin Hood and Keystone Light’s mascot, Keith Stone, were to have a child, you’d bet he’d be sportin’ one of these babies.

The best thing to come out of skateboarding since the polyurethane wheel.

The best thing to come out of skateboarding since the polyurethane wheel.

2. Beer helmet

To go with a beer helmet, you have a certain refined taste – the I want two beers on my head, but also want to protect my noggin kind. This is a classic piece of Americana reinvented for a new generation (thanks to a collaboration between Thrasher Magazine and HUF). A little setup is required, of course, between cracking two beers and sucking them down. But doesn’t that just mean you’re the kind of person who’s willing to wait a little longer for the perfect beer drinking experience?

With the complete kit, you’ll be totally prepared to get after it this Fourth of July.

 
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