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The Inertia

“Exactly what hydrodynamic benefit do you gain from giving yourself a wedgie anyway?”

Lauren Hill, a pro surfer who earned a degree in Environmental and Social Science from Stetson University and currently resides in Byron Bay, pontificates the compounding mess in the intersection of social media, marketing, and sex appeal in women’s surfing in her new short film Pear Shaped.

In its description, the clip says, “Surfing tends to take itself pretty seriously, and women’s surfing carries the extra burden of not only having to be serious, but also be sexy.” And the gals sure take the piss out of it. With a barrage of memorable visuals that harken Lena Dunham’s honest, sometimes not-pretty depiction of life on earth for the modern woman in her HBO series Girls, Pear Shaped offers the following nuggets:

“What’s with all these girls on Insta just posing near their surfboards? Do these people even surf? Maybe they downloaded the surf chick filter.”

You don’t see this on Insta too much.

“Holy lady beard! A Minge Cringe! The only wax I’ve had this month is on my board…Do vaginas even wanna wear bikinis? How do you stay calm in the tube when your labia is flapping in the breeze? Maybe I could flip one out and kitesurf to shore.”

“This is my labby rope. It keeps my vagina from being washed away. It works.”

Or this.

“Next time my tit comes out on a ride, I’m going to sue the French government.”

And we certainly appreciate the shower scene spoofing Esquire’s clip “How to Take Off a Wetsuit…from a Beautiful Woman.” A few years back, we gave it a go as well. You can watch that below.



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