Filipe. Mick. Kelly. Okay, guys. You can come back now. Photos: WSL
The last couple of ‘CT events at Bells Beach and Margaret River have been nothing if not painful to watch. Admittedly, the swell hasn’t really been ideal, and by and large heats have been decided by wave selection rather than surfing. Frankly, the whole thing seems like a bit of a lottery, hinging on choosing a shit wave or a terrible one. There is no satisfactory outcome. It’s like asking the question: Would you rather be forced to watch your parents have sex every day for the rest of your life, or join in once to make it stop?
I think the problems so far this year are more to do with people than the weather. I think the Tour is lacking some true star quality. You could argue that the variety of conditions and winners so far have made things more interesting, but, rather, I think it serves to highlight the inconsistencies and flaws of a pastime that already occupies shaky ground in the realms of competitive sport. A sport needs stars, and right now surfing doesn’t have any.
Fanning is on sabbatical (which he appears to have started whilst he was still competing). Toledo is injured. Slater is AWOL. Owen Wright is out indefinitely. Medina is off the boil. Florence can’t compete. So what are we left with? Well, after three events, we have a wholly uninspiring hodge podge of a top ten with Matt Wilkinson at number one, followed by Sebastian Zietz. (Incidentally, can anyone explain to me why Owen Wright and Bede Durbidge seem to have 1,500 points each on the rankings – the same as Jack Freestone, Keanu Asing and Alex Ribeiro?)
The current world number one is a surfer who is both erratic and fairly one-dimensional (the single dimension can be impressive), and the number two is a guy who dropped off Tour last year and is back by virtue of luck and injuries to other surfers. I won’t be too critical of Matt Wilkinson as I’ve always been a fan of his surfing, but he has performed far better in previous years and not been anywhere near his current lofty position. Let’s face it, in the absence of the true stars, the bar has been shockingly low.
The lack of star quality has also exposed dreadful holes in the fabric of the scoring. Without the gloss of the stars, the judges have been at a loss. When no-one has looked worthy of winning, they have panicked and over-scored waves in comical fashion. Recently there has been a series of 9+ scores that are simply jokes. Exhibit A is Matt Wilkinson in the semi at Bells against Italo Ferreira. 9.27 for three turns, two of which Joe Turpel accurately termed as “extended mid-face bottom turns.” The finishing turn at least connected with the lip, but the score was a farce. He was similarly over-compensated with a 9.20 in the final. I have re-visited this and several of Wilko’s other scoring waves recently, and I can only presume that his hair flicks are being counted by the judges in the “Variety of Maneuvers” criteria. As much as I admire Wilko’s devilish backhand hack, it’s more or less his only maneuver – a fact the judges seem to have overlooked.
Exhibit B is from the Margaret River event that Sebastian Zietz won. In his semi-final against Italo Ferreira (once again the victim of poor judging), the judges gifted him a 9.10 for what commentator Ron Blakey called “a couple of big swoops.” That was it. Are “big swoops” and “mid-face bottom turns” what the judges class as “Excellent” (or damn near perfect) surfing? Next, they’ll be chucking 10s for that classic Martin Potter staple: “nice, clean, smooth surfing.”
The first two scoring waves of the final were a travesty as well. How the WSL can possibly justify the 9.10 they gave Seabass in comparison to the paltry 8.67 they awarded Julian Wilson, I have no fucking clue. As a fan this is frustrating, as an athlete in Wilson’s position, it would make me quit.
Come back Mick. Get well soon Owen and Filipe. Kelly, Medina, Florence – pull your socks up. The Tour at the moment is not fun. We need an injection of true star quality, even if we can’t always have quality waves. I miss Filipe Toledo, the one surfer for whom it seems the judging criteria was designed. I know he’s only surfed a few heats this year, but right now I think I’d be happy to give him the title and just call the whole thing off.
