Welcome to the linoleum-floored hell on Earth.
Travel is incredible. Flying, however, is not. Let me explain. Traveling means exploring unfamiliar destinations, meeting new people, indulging in interesting foods, and for surfers maybe some quality, uncrowded waves. Flying, however, is a means to travel. It’s the hell we put up with because traveling is so great.
And I don’t mean the act of flying. The fact human beings developed aircraft that soar through the sky to get us to our destination faster than any other form of transport is a feat of modern civilization. But, being herded like cattle, subject to lines, baggage fees, seemingly arbitrary rules about removing shoes and jackets, and the like makes the process difficult to bare.
The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) is a major cog in that machine. As of late the TSA has been scrutinized for extremely long waits at major airports. That’s all well and good if the agency were doing a great job keeping people safe, but their effectiveness has also come under fire. Of course, the TSA says that all of this is due to lack of funding, but the endless list of arbitrary rules about quantity of liquid in containers, the need to remove computers from cases but not tablets or e-readers, knives that can only be 6 centimeters long or less, and more must contribute somewhat to the pace of security checkpoints.
It appears even the TSA is aware they kind of suck. In an effort to decrease line wait times, on Tuesday the TSA announced the agency would be partnering with American Airlines to create new checkpoints in a handful of major airports, with the goal of reducing wait times by 30%.
They will reportedly resemble the ‘innovative lane’, which is an initiative between the TSA and Delta Airlines exclusively rolled out at Atlanta’s Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport in May.
American Airlines has invested $5 million into the project, which will ultimately come to Los Angeles International Airport, Chicago’s O’Hare International Airport, Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport, and Miami International Airport.
The ‘innovation’ applied to these new lanes is straightforward, which begs the question why it’s taken so long. Essentially, two conveyor belts will replace the one that existed previously to cart carry-on bags and plastic bins through the X-ray machine. One conveyor belt will carry empty bins to passengers, and the other will essentially continue to do what it always did – carry stuff through the X-ray. Now, passengers will be able to keep moving while their belongings are screened. I know, miraculous.
In perhaps one of the most ironic statements ever, TSA administrator Pter Neffenger said, “To ensure that we remain up to date in an evolving threat environment, TSA continues to test and deploy state-of-the-art technologies.” Two conveyor belts, and you can keep walking – certainly state-of-the-art.
