“Justin Beiber. He’s real hot right now.” Richard Sherman is in a rush to get to the big event, less than ten minutes before the scheduled start of the ESPYS, but he makes sure to fire that answer to the guy standing within earshot of me.
The question? Justin Bieber or Taylor Swift?
There might not be a more eclectic red carpet affair – heck, there probably isn’t a more eclectic awards show crowd – than that of ESPN’s ESPYS. So questions like this are common place. And that’s why my own objective for the evening is becoming a hit with some of the night’s VIPs. I’m getting people barreled…on the red carpet. Shaq’s not into the idea. Neither is Kobe. Clayton Kershaw walks by but I don’t even offer, because he’s Clayton Kershaw and my dad raised me right. I’m a Giants fan. Comedian Hannibal Buress laughs when he sees me standing with a virtual reality headset wearing a suit and tie. Chance The Rapper approaches to ask if he can give it a try, like a kid in a toy store.
So like I said, it’s an eclectic group and anything goes here…even settling the Swift v. Beiber debate with a Stanford alum.
All this because here in downtown Los Angeles in the middle of July, tons of beautiful people are gathered to celebrate sports’ version of the Academy Awards. It’s the only day of every calendar year with no single major American sporting event scheduled: the day after Major League Baseball’s All Star Game. This is essentially a 24-hour spring break in the world of mainstream sports. What better time to have a bunch of beautiful people dress to the nines and get all Hollywood?
Some other observations from a surfer surrounded by rich super human athletes:
-WWE wrestlers are the most entertaining and coolest people in the sporting world. This shouldn’t be a surprise. And yes, I know technically they’re actors.
-No movie poster, Instagram photo or TV spot closeup will ever do Olivia Munn justice. It can almost make you uncomfortable. Good job to Aaron Rodgers.
-Did I mention there are a lot of good looking people here?
-Courtney Conlogue has some rad stories about surfing naked and getting barreled over dry reef.
-Director/producer/writer/genius Judd Apatow knows his sports. I would hang with the guy.
-Gold sneakers are pretty awesome, especially when paired with a suit and tie. Several men are testing this theory tonight.
-Bryce Harper has solid dress shoe game. He is not wearing gold sneakers.
-Peyton Manning’s still got it. He pulls off the powder blue suit a la Dumb and Dumber like a champ. You can do that when you have two Super Bowl rings and were league MVP five times. Tom Brady wouldn’t attempt this…I think.
-Tom Brady isn’t walking down the red carpet wearing Uggs. I plan to bring up the oddest footwear endorsement in sports should we cross paths/clash/banter/duel. However, the Ugg model is elsewhere today.
-Everybody wants to be a surfer. Mention the word to even the most talented of athletes and they’re all at least a tad amazed by what a lucky few get to do in the ocean.
-“Fight on” is the phrase of the afternoon. There are too many USC alumni here.
