Sexing up electric mountain bikes is undoubtedly difficult. They are kind of like dirt bikes, but then again nothing at all like dirt bikes. They are much, much more environmentally-friendly, but does environmentally-friendly boost you sky high and impress all the girls and travel long distances with ease? (These days it actually might, but you get the point.) And they are sort of like mountain bikes while being nothing at all like mountain bikes. Then there is the unfortunate association they now have with those unyielding, road rule-ignoring delivery men and women who you curse every time you swerve to avoid clipping them as they fly through stop signs. Basically, there is a whole lot going against them.
But the inevitable zombie apocalypse that your Netflix queue assures you is coming? That, right there, is their golden ticket. You see, noise alerts zombies that there is something alive nearby. And mountain bikes make noise. Stealth Electric Bikes don’t. How about mountain bikes? They present the problem of relying on human power for long, often uphill (both ways) journeys, and that simply won’t do.
So the takeaway here is: we’re all going to die — those with Stealth Electric Bikes will die later than the rest.
