A doomsday likely caused by genetically modified dinosaurs. But before we get into a breakdown of the actual Doomsday Video, let’s appreciate the new face of Earth Day.
Good. Now moving on. This video above is in response to the rather disastrous Turner Doomsday Video that media mogul, philanthropist, and Ted’s Montana Grill owner Ted Turner with a video restriction that reads: “Hold for release until end of the world confirmed.”
What, exactly, is the Turner Doomsday Video? Footage of a band playing “Nearer My God to Thee”… the same song that legend claims played as the Titanic sank. Nothing more. Should the apocalypse indeed occur (and be confirmed), grainy footage of a manicured lawn will be what sees you into the abyss.
But Martin Sheen — better known (and loved) as one President Josiah Bartlet — would rather us burn in a fiery hell with a smile spread across our disintegrating faces, and nostalgia coursing through our increasingly toxic veins. Therefore, he. along with Oliver, have put together a Greatest Hits of sorts:
We harnessed fire..
…invented languages…
…and engineered transparent underwater tunnels simply because we felt like looking at shark tummies.
We were the first species to evolve to walk on two legs…
…and then invented a way not to.
But perhaps humanities greatest achievement of all was our total domination of every other species.
Nice try, lions.
Unless, of course, we’re all dying because lions evolved and conquered the humans race, in which case – well played, lions.
Then he goes on encourage us to not be sad, but rather be glad for the things we had, giving thanks to the important things, like: peanut butter, water slides, the night sky, the Beatles, the pyramids, that YouTube video of Kelsey Grammer falling off a stage, mastering the art of the yoyo, and having a cereal that was nothing but cookies, the automobile, the automobile that could drive 20 other automobiles, backpacks that look like animals (and having those same animals wear them), magnificently pointless world records, mastering relative time and hammer time, developing string theory and string cheese, going to the moon, and basketball trick shots.
We really did have a good run, didn’t we? Anyway, as President Bartlet so eloquently said, “Over and out.”
