I learned, Sunday night, through my Facebook feed that Shark Week was starting on the Discovery Channel. “OMG, I’m obsessed with Shark Week!” “You watch Shark Week, too? It’s my favorite seven days of television of the year.” “Shark week after the Olympics!!!! Does TV get any better?”
Jesus Christ monkey balls — these people are serious. Watching Shark Week has become a badge of honor for most of the young, college educated, Trader-Joe, farmer’s market, and Ikea loving, one-vacation-a-year-to-all-inclusive-resorts-taking white people that I’ve spent much of my life around. These are people who only “swim” in water no higher than their waists — spf 10 users. By gushing about how much they like the shows on shark week, they are demonstrating to each other that they are a) like, totally into science, and b) are like, totally into the ocean, too.