Ugly Christmas Sweaters have kind of lost their charm recently. Part of the Ugly Christmas Sweater’s original mojo came from the fact that it wasn’t made with the intention of being “ugly” in the first place. No, Grandma had to labor away on it and Mom had to fight you to the death just to get you to wear the damn thing. And then suddenly when you were in high school one day you thought it’d be funny to drag out that old itchy sweater that was all of the sudden three sizes too small. But of course everybody would get a laugh out of that, because that’s what real irony does for you.
Don’t get me wrong, I can appreciate a good Ugly Christmas Sweater. But the Ugly Christmas Sweater phenomenon is another animal altogether. Once people started making these things with zero intention of them not being ugly it started a slippery slope toward creating a novelty that, by definition, makes us all hipsters for at least one holiday party each year. And hipster irony is the worst kind of irony. It makes me sound like a grinch – which couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m drinking a cool, creamy glass of delicious eggnog with *NSYNC’s Christmas album blaring as I write this. That’s how Christmas spirity I am. So in an effort to get myself back on the Ugly Christmas Sweater bandwagon I decided to do some online digging. It turns out even surfers aren’t free and clear from the holiday trend. Some options are good. Some are not so good. Some aren’t even sweaters. Because some of us are awesome and we live in places where you can wear tank tops in December. But at least they’ll all add a little ho ho ho brah to your next Ugly Christmas Sweater party.
Full disclosure here, I’m not ashamed of the whole *NSYNC Christmas album thing but I’m definitely ashamed I just made that ho ho ho pun. Merry Christmas everybody.