The Inertia for Good Editor
Staff

The Inertia

Earlier this week, Donald Trump signed the Great American Outdoors Act into law. Naturally, he made a show of it. He talked about himself a decent amount, even referring to himself as “the same or almost as good” as Theodore Roosevelt for his conservation efforts. You know, because it’s not like he’s spent the past three-plus years rolling back at least 100 environmental rules and regulations that were originally designed to govern clean air, water, and toxic chemicals — stuff that generally signals we’re taking care of the planet instead of sucking all the fossil fuels we can out of her.

However, as logic dictates, if you can spend $9 billion to give places like the Grand Canyon and Yosemite a facelift, you should definitely call yourself an environmentalist. Maybe even the greatest environmentalist ev—

Wait, did I just write “Yosemite?”

Advertisement

False. It’s “Yo Semite.” The lame-stream media would have you believe it’s “Yoh-Sem-i-Tee,” but it’s not. That’s just all part of the liberal agenda. It’s actually “Yo Semite.” Now double down and say it twice. Any president that’s the same or almost as good as Teddy would know.

“When young Americans experience the breathtaking beauty of the Grand Canyon, when their eyes widen in amazement as Old Faithful bursts into the sky, when they gaze upon Yosemite’s (Yo-seh-might’s) — Yosemite’s (Yo-seh-min-might’s) towering sequoias, their love of country grows stronger, and they know that every American has truly a duty to preserve this wondrous inheritance,” Trump said.

Amen.

As a clear sign of support and solidarity for their president, Americans have since been buying “Yo Semite” tee shirts in record numbers. The tee shirts have been on the market for 16 years now, when Digital Media Creator Sarah Lefton first designed and started selling them for the National Museum of American Jewish History. But it’s the president’s praise of those glorious sequoias that uncovered the truth for us all.

“It took me just a couple of minutes to find the Trump clip,” said Lefton, whose phone lit up with hundreds of notifications after the Great American Outdoors Act was signed “and I immediately knew that I was going to sell thousands of t-shirts.”

Advertisement

“We’ve sold hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of those shirts over the years,” added Director of Retail at the National Museum of American Jewish History Kristen Kreider, “just not hundreds and hundreds and hundreds in one day.”

Finally, we’re making “Yo Semite” great again.

Newsletter

Only the best. We promise.

Contribute

Join our community of contributors.

Apply