The Inertia Health Editor

Amy Schumer, layin’ it down.

The Inertia

There are a lot of people in this world who have nothing better to do than to criticize successful people. Well, this week, these Internet trolls and tabloid junkies decided to pick on the wrong girl, and they got their asses handed to them – courtesy of comedic genius, Amy Schumer. All I have to say is it’s about time.

While vacationing with her boyfriend in Hawaii, Schumer was photographed wearing a one piece bathing suit enjoying her day at the beach. Although the average person might be able to do this with very little-to-no fuss from the rest of the world, when the pictures of Schumer were released, the trolls went crazy. Let’s just say there was no shortage of negative commentary on Schumer’s body.

What did Schumer do in response? She posted on of the most epic Instagram slams in recent memory. And it wasn’t hard. She posted one of the photographs that was drawing so much negative attention onto her own account (photo pictured above) with the following caption:

I meant to write ‘good morning trolls!’ I hope you find some joy in your lives today in a human interaction and not just in writing unkind things to a stranger you’ve never met who triggers something in you that makes you feel powerless and alone. This is how I look. I feel happy. I think I look strong and healthy and also like miss trunchbull from Matilda. Kisses!


Let’s break this down. First of all, she gets straight to the point, and she hits the haters where it hurts most: their worthlessness. Point, Amy. Second, she makes it clear she doesn’t give a damn what people think about how she looks. She cares about how she feels, and isn’t that what health is all about? Next, she brings in a brilliant reference to Matilda, one of the creepiest, best, children’s movies of all time to round the caption out with her signature humor. And yes, those braids are pretty Trunchbull-esque. Finally, she signs off with “kisses!” a sarcastically feminine punch to the teeth to finish things off. Final score: Amy Schumer: 4. Haters: 0.

Unfortunately, this incident isn’t the first time Schumer’s body has been an issue in the past couple of months. The comedian was featured, without her knowledge, in Glamour Magazine’s Plus Size Issue not too long ago. Although she approved of the general spirit behind the issue, she was very public about her strong disapproval of her own inclusion. Her problem? She’s not even plus size. While “plus size” in the US typically refers to size 16 or above, Schumer tends to fluctuate between a size 6 and a size 8. She explained to Jimmy Fallon that, “Young girls seeing my body type thinking that is plus size. What are your thoughts? Mine are: Not cool Glamour, not glamourous.”

Personally, I just can’t understand why the world is so fixated on Amy Schumer’s body. Don’t get me wrong, I think she’s a beautiful woman, but she’s a comedian (in addition to being a writer, producer, and actress), not a model. She isn’t famous for her body; she’s famous for her quick wit.  She makes people laugh for a living, and that’s a pretty incredible thing in this grumpy world. If you’re going to criticize her at all, at least scrutinize her jokes instead of her ass.


In terms of seeing things within our own action sport’s world, this issue is all too relevant. In surfing especially, female professionals are evaluated and criticized almost more for how they look in a bikini than for how they actually perform on a wave. A woman’s sponsorship contract is based only partially on merit of her competitive achievements. Oftentimes, women who have “the look” and the ability to model are paid far more than others who are far more skilled surfers with more impressive results in the jersey.

What’s crazy about this phenomenon, is how rare and valuable the skills of professional womens surfers, like the skills of Schumer, actually are. How many women are able to compete at the highest level of surfing? 17. A few more than a dozen in the whole world. How many female comedians are able to be internationally recognized and successful? Honestly, probably even fewer than that.

By contrast, how many cute, fit, Instagram models are there out there that look good in a bikini? Probably hundreds of thousands. Maybe more. If you want to ogle at a perfect butt, look no further than #booty. Don’t look to Amy Schumer or to top professional surfers. And if you do, get ready for the smackdown. Schumer’s quick wit it.



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