The Inertia Contributing Writer
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The Inertia

Chasing swells, hitting the gym. The active lifestyle doesn’t always leave time — not to mention energy — to take part in the world’s oldest sport. You know which one we’re talking about, champ! Wink, wink.

Sadly, humanity’s oldest exercise routine — coitus, lovemaking, bumping uglies — has much to compete with these days. Unless of course the exercise routine is the nooky-making act iself! This is the idea behind BangFit, a new smartphone app from Pornhub.

It works like this: You find yourself one or more willing partners (sorry, no instructions provided for this part). You place your smartphone in a waistband, cue up the BangFit website, choose a “sexercise” routine and “hump along with the video on the screen.” While you perform various positions over a 30-minute period, the app records your efforts like other fitness trackers.

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(Does anyone know if the Rip Curl Search GPS Watch works this way, too? Asking for a friend.)

Says Pornhub: “It won’t just get you fit. It will get you fit as f**k.” Seriously watch the BangFit retro-styled animated promo video below just for kicks.

The BangFit site shows that the waistband is already sold out, and the company only announced the software a couple weeks ago. Users can choose from classic positions such as Downward Doggy, Squat and Thrust and other mainstays that sexually active people with strong core muscles and flexible limbs will recognize.

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Disappointingly, the site has no surf-inspired sexercises. They should consider adding something to help surfers hone their pop-ups. Also, it’s not clear whether the sexercises are meant to be performed on SUPs…I mean, in case someone was wondering that. Also note that most of the exercises are demonstrated by a hetero couple, except one that features two women. Certainly gay and lesbian couples will find their own ways to imitate the sexercises…but hey, that’s what the bedroom is for!

Time to get fit, kids!

When the waves aren't on fire but your loins are, consider BangFit to stay trim.

When the waves aren’t on fire but your loins are, consider BangFit to stay trim.

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