Every year, 200 million people drown in the ocean. In fact, it’s statistically more likely that you’ll drown in the ocean than it is that you’ll urinate at some point today. Sure, none of that’s true, but still. Drowning in the ocean is a very real risk at all times, even when you’re not in the ocean. Just last week, a man drowned in the Sahara, although it wasn’t widely reported on. Sure, that’s not true either, but still. Here are some extremely useful tips (condensed below for those readers in the bunch) for oceanic safety brought you courtesy of the extremely under-watched Raglan Surf Report.
1. Don’t Dip in Denim
Jeans are not good to swim in. At all. Any time. Even if you’re a very good swimmer, you’ll sink directly to the bottom.
2. Boogie Boarding (they said it, not us)
Although boogie boarding isn’t dangerous, it’s fucking stupid and you look like a dick. Just don’t do it.
It’s always important to breathe. If you find yourself underwater, don’t try and breathe because you won’t be able to.
4. Basic Swimming Skills
To go out in the ocean, you want to be able to swim. The ocean is made up entirely of water, and to survive in water, you need to be able to swim. So if you can’t swim, don’t go in the fucking ocean.