Fashion is the most important thing in the world. It is, without a doubt, the thing you should be most concerned with at all times. Other people’s perception of you is of paramount importance–more important than friendship, family, love, or leading a fulfilling life. In fact, the fastest way to feeling fulfilled is to impress people. The best way to do that is to be fashionable. That, and making others jealous of a life you only pretend to lead on social media.
You should absolutely never leave the house without taking at least two hours to make sure you’re dressed in the latest fashion trends because it is very likely that you could potentially die from the embarrassment of being perceived as “unfashionable.” And of course, since you’re a surfer, you need to dress like one. You have to. You cannot dress any other way, or you are not a surfer. Surfing isn’t about riding waves, it’s about telling others you do it. The easiest way to do that is to dress like a surfer. That way, even if you can’t physically speak the words to everyone you meet, everyone who lays eyes on you will know, and they will be jealous. Everyone wants to be a surfer. So here, in classic very-serious and not-at-all-funny Raglan Surf Report fashion (pun intended) is the best way to make sure everyone knows you’re both fashionable and a surfer.
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