Author/Social Media Marketer/Surfer
Photo: Blake Jamieson

Photo: Blake Jamieson

The Inertia

He’s the one with the slightly unkempt hair, scruffy face, draped in a combination of earth tones and neon colors. The kind of look you can tell Hollister tried to emulate in their advertisements, but fell short of his authenticity. Tan skin, sun-bleached hair, and good posture didn’t strike you as a normal combination until you met him. Sand is scattered across his neckline and under his fingernails. Each grain has a story to go with it, and he’s eager to share them all if you ask.

Date a boy who surfs. He’s confident but far from an egomaniac. He realizes how small he is in the grand scheme of things, but still believes he can single-handedly better the world around him. He sees beauty in the blades of grass that grow through cracks in the sidewalk. He will help a small insect navigate its way out of a room with the same compassion he has when assisting an elderly woman across the street.

Date a boy who surfs. He’s romantic and thoughtful without thinking about it at all. He knows exactly what time the sun rises and sets. He’ll take you to a secluded, secret spot to watch the sun fade into the ocean, and squeeze you tightly while you both gaze towards the horizon. He watches the sun set often, and each time a small piece of the scenery remains in his pupils.

So when you look into his eyes, don’t be surprised when you’re hypnotized by millions of fractions of sunsets peering back at you.


Date a boy who surfs. He has phenomenal physique. You won’t find any gym-selfies on his Instagram account. Instead it will be littered with sunsets and seashells, waves and friends. He probably doesn’t even have a gym membership. But he isn’t lazy. A strong core, broad shoulders, and toned triceps are natural byproducts of his favorite activity. He stands tall with shoulders back and defined pectoral muscles, like he’s puffing out his chest. But it’s not intentional—he’s got nothing to prove. It’s just how posture evolves from countless hours spent arching his back atop his surfboard.

Date a boy who surfs. He won’t give you flack when you tell him you want to become vegan, even if it’s the fifth time you’ve tried after four failed attempts. He will probably offer to support your dietary effort by going vegan himself. After all, eating healthy, organic foods is already a habit of his. When you decide to start practicing yoga, tell him. He will share his thoughts on the best yoga studios and teachers in the area. He’ll join if you want company, but give you the space to go alone if you ask for it.

Date a boy who surfs. He doesn’t wear cologne, but the scent of his skin will calm you. He might not shower frequently, but he bathes daily. Salty tastes are addicting. That’s why people can’t eat just one potato chip or a single piece of popcorn. If you kiss his skin, don’t plan on it being the only time.

He tastes like adventure which compliments his taste for adventure.

Date a boy who surfs. He’s not materialistic. Instead of collecting things, he collects moments, memories, and friends. He’s fonder of his photo albums than anything else he owns. Beyond those albums and his quiver, material possessions only weigh him down. His closet is a mix of t-shirts, board-shorts, tattered jeans, and hoodies. Nothing name brand or particularly expensive, but he always finds a combination that looks stylish…on the first try.


He won’t shower you in diamonds or traditional jewelry, but he’ll give you something better. A shell or stone, smoothed by the lapping ocean waves, might remind him of you, so he’ll bring it home and leave it on your nightstand with a hand-written note.

Date a boy who surfs. He can make friends anywhere. And he does. So many friends that he could go months without the burden of rent or a mortgage. His network of available couches and cots spans coastlines worldwide. The loyalty is reciprocated; so when an old friend from Indonesia spends a few nights on your couch, embrace the opportunity to learn about a different culture.

Date a boy who surfs. He’s spontaneous. Very spontaneous. This can be frustrating when his spontaneous adventure pulls him in a different direction than you’d planned. But you will appreciate it when you get home from a long workweek and joke about a weekend vacation, and he responds with “Let’s go!”

Date a boy who surfs. He’s fearless. He’s not afraid of sharks, and quick to calm your nerves anytime you express concern. He’ll rattle off statistics about how you’re more likely to be killed by a deer than a shark, or that your chance of winning the lottery is much higher than a shark attack. If you’re still worried for his safety, he will lighten the mood with a humorous and statistically-sound solution, handing you a lottery ticket on his way out the door to the beach.

He might not show it often, but he has a nerdy side. It’s easiest to see when you ask him how he knows “Thursday is gonna be FIRING!” He’ll explain that he’s been studying weather patterns and reading buoy levels. That a storm far off the coast is causing a WNW swell, and the current proximity of the moon is causing the tide to result in the perfect height when the storm’s impact reaches the coast.

Date a boy who surfs. He knows how to make the most of a small budget. He’s stretched $100 farther than you can fathom. He’s paid for a few gallons of gas with nickels, and he’s not ashamed about it. The number in his bank account has no correlation to his happiness.

He is thrifty and resourceful, which will come in handy more often than you know.

Date a boy who surfs. He’s a morning person, even on the weekends. The snooze button is a mechanism used when another bite of sleep sounds tastier than whatever you’re waking up to do. He won’t use that button. Because as vivid as the surfing dreams are, they can’t compare to the actual feeling of a duck-dive.


When weeks pass without waves, he might be easily irritated. Understand that it’s not your fault. If you can make it through the calm, the fruits of the storm will be bountiful. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, so a little time away from the ocean will only make him appreciate it even more. His mood will shift, and the feeling of euphoria will overflow out of him and into you.

Date a boy who surfs.


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