“Excuse me gentlemen, please, please help me…I am very VERY lost.”
“Yes… yes you are.”
I explained myself, but they were absolutely clueless as to where I was heading and simply offered a direction to the main road, so on and on I go. I came to a fence, and climbed through it. I came to a gate, pushed it open. I came to a horse trough, rested. I was walking for around three hours now, and the water was long gone. I’m felt incredibly pensive.
An old woman spotted me through the trees and called me over. I could tell by her gracious, but tentative smile that I was a frightening shade of red. She hurriedly offered me a chair under the shade of a tree and a glass of cold water. We exchanged pleasantries, but I was restless and out of place, so I expressed my deepest gratitude and made moves to leave, but she urged me to rest for a little while longer.
In time, she pointed me to the main road, where the next phase of mystery began. I stood there on a broken concrete sidewalk, watching the shadows crawl around me, hoisting my thumb to every vehicle that passed – cars, taxis, pick-ups, minivans, tour busses, 18-wheelers, anything with wheels. But dusty gusts are all they offered.
But then a bus arrived, same as the one that dropped me off all those hours ago. It pulled over, I ran to the door and begged the driver, “Please, I am very lost. I want to go to Barra de la Cruz – can you help me?”
He nodded, “Yes, yes. I don’t have problem.”
Elated, “Thank you very much, I’m going to take my bags.”
As I jogged alongside the bus to get them, he slammed his foot on the pedal, dropping me like a tin can in the dust. As far as I can recall, I didn’t turn to watch him leave, just stood up straight, stared back down the road from whence the he came, not looking at anything in particular but not that surprised. It was just one of those days.
So I stood for another long while, kicking stones, stretching my legs, chewing grass, wringing my t-shirt, repeating the motions – another hundred vehicles, another hundred clouds of dust. Eventually another blue bus heeded my call. I ran up to the door, practically on my knees, begging him, “Please sir, PLEASE. I need your help. I am very, very lost. I want to go to the next town. Will you help me?”
“Yes, yessss.”
“Very good! Thank you very much. I’m going to take my bags, they’re over there. Will you wait a short moment for me?”
“Yes.” He nodded.
I gave him one last look of assurance, two thumbs up. He nodded again.
I ran this time, urgent strides beside the bus. I got my fists around the handles of my bags…and his foot hit the floor. He practically spun the wheels in a bus. But this time around I snapped and unleash. I flipped the bird, flapped my arms, shouting, “ARE – YOU – FUCKING – KIDDING – ME? SERIOUSLY?”
And so one of those profoundly helpless moments descended upon me, my ego on the floor like a naked baby in the dust. No one to call, time the only source of hope. So I surrendered completely, just let it all go, plucked another stem of grass to chew, sat down and had a good little chuckle. Such a refreshing and wonderful sensation it was, rolling over the tipping point like a kid on grassy hill, feeling pure bitterness at the world become a simple appreciation of its comedy.
And like magic, like all the great sages say – let go and the answer shall present itself. So in about as much time as it took me to chew the sweet juices from my stem, a white double-cab pulled up on the other side of the road and a woman called to me, “Hey! Where you going?”
This is no mirage; no savage trickery here. I ran across to her car. She was absolutely beautiful and she was here to help me. Her gorgeous daughter sat quietly in the passenger seat. They told me they’d driven past twice and wondered who or what I was waiting for. I tried to explain my destination but they’d never heard of it, so they told me to “Hop in, let’s figure this thing out!”
We drove from house to house, asking people for clues, but nobody had any. Meanwhile, ludicrous fantasies played themselves out in my head. Suddenly, I was living the simple life raising a family on small farm in Mexico with my beautiful wife… when people asked how we met, she would tell the story of how she and her mother found me chewing grass on the side of the road one day.
Anyway, back on earth, we pulled into some eco-resort and the owner took me to a huge map of the coast painted across her wall. I found my destination and asked where exactly we were…and I have to take four big strides across the floor to match the two. We burst out laughing. I was absolutely nowhere.
My savior told me that, sadly, she couldn’t drive me that far, but would make damn sure the next bus driver did. I hauled my gear from the car, cast a fearful glance at the sun beating down on the spot where I was to wait for the next bus, and on cue, it arrived.
She walked straight into the middle of the road with her hair and her eyes and her skin and her jeans and her boots and everything…and in one fateful snap of time, my fantasy vanished like dawn’s last dream. My day was saved and I had fallen a little in love with two Mexican angels.
Another three hours, two busses, a taxi and a long walk later, I crossed from the land to the sea and rode waves until the moon and I walked home together.
Moral of the story? Go! Go get lost, never turn back…and be wary of little witches in school uniforms.
