Kelly, celebrating a perfect 20. Photo: WSL

Kelly, celebrating a perfect 20. Photo: WSL

The Inertia

Years ago, The Inertia published a World Tour drinking game. In fact, it was so long ago that the WSL was still the ASP and Kelly Slater has won one more world title in the meantime. With new broadcast teams, new tour pros, and the equivalent of sideline reporters bobbing in the lineup with waterproof microphones, it’s time we update that pastime. The game’s changed, so let’s change the game. The following prompts are additions to the original Professional Surfing Drinking Game of years ago:

1. A valid driver’s license stating that you are over the age of 21 in the United States, over the age of 18 in Europe or Latin America, or any document certifying Australian citizenship.

2. A crate of your favorite beer and a bottle of hard liquor.

3. If you’re not a drinker, fret not. You’re probably better off without the bottle, but luckily The Professional Surfing Web Cast Drinking Game is an equal opportunity entertainment provider, so just substitute milk for beer and energy drinks for liquor. That said, you might actually do more damage to your liver from the taurine than the alcohol. So grab a few gallons of milk and join the fun.

  1. When Joe Turpel says “knifes it” to describe somebody’s takeoff, take a shot.
  2. When Pottz says “boom-shacka-lacka,” take a shot.
  3. When Pottz calls Kelly “King Kelly,” take a drink of beer.
  4. When Joe Turpel says “head space,” take a drink of beer.
  5. If someone calls Strider “Wazz,” take a shot.
  6. When an Australian mispronounces a name ending in an “a” by changing it to “er” (For example, Adriano De Souzer), take a drink of beer.
  7. Take a shot AND chug a beer anytime Mason Ho is in a ‘CT contest and is interviewed. He’s going to do something hilarious anyway.
  8. When Joe Turpel says “back to the power source,” take a drink of beer.
  9. Anytime the dead air and silence starts to get awkward, begin chugging and don’t stop until somebody starts talking again.

Note: does not endorse the excessive consumption of alcohol. It does, however, endorse humor. Most of the time.

Throw a few buckets, drink a few buckets. Makes sense right? Photo: ASP/Kirstin Scholtz

Throw a few buckets, drink a few buckets. Makes sense right? Photo: ASP/Kirstin Scholtz


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