Photo: Red Bull
We all run into a crisis of identity at one point or another. What’s the point? What am I doing? Why does it all matter? The questions and the doubts can be a normal process of being a human being, but we all handle it differently. Big wave surfer Izzi Gomez rode her own rollercoaster a few years ago that even today, she doesn’t pinpoint one experience or event that threw her off. Depression, anxiety, or whatever you call it, she still doesn’t assign a word or a meaning to any of it, she just knew she was questioning her abilities and recognized that was a potentially dangerous place to be for any big wave surfer.
“I got to a point where I slowly was just questioning everything about my life, myself, and what I was doing,” she says. Somewhere at the end of all that questioning, she landed on a direct answer. “I knew I needed to step away from big waves.”
Stepping away from big waves and stepping away from surfing altogether are two different things though, so Izzi stepped out for surf trips with friends, a coldwater trip to Tofino, and so on.
“I just think there’s something really cool about getting out of your normal routine, comfort zone, travel schedule, and just exploring,” she says.
But after about two years of that, big waves were still on her mind. And then she got a call to go to Maverick’s. She jumped on board after a two-year hiatus from that aspect of her surfing and her life. Sadly, the return to bigger waves wasn’t the poetic, triumphant kind you’d close a biopic with. Izzi got crushed on her last wave of the day, and rode back to shore worried that the first session of a new winter had ended with a serious injury.
It turned out that Gomez did have a fractured rib, but explaining her reaction to that injury now is where the story really takes a turn. After depression and anxiety had led her away from big waves for two full seasons, only to return and immediately be slapped with an injury, Izzi had a fresh outlook.
“I got hurt surfing big waves. I was stoked because I’m so happy to be back out there.”
The Maverick’s injury happened in November. She was prepping for Jaws by January.
In the end, Gomez doesn’t have a single “a-ha” moment or realization of what brought her back or why, she explains it more like a process. She spent time away, gave herself some freedom, and ultimately she fell into a groove of putting less pressure on herself. When it was time to come back, she answered the call.
“I think I finally convinced myself that I do belong here.”
