https://youtu.be/cv7d5cXlOeM?si=Q9XFI8ImZKqLO9wP
Let’s flash back to 2006, just under 20 years ago. You couldn’t possibly be more hyped for the Playstation 3 to come out, but since that won’t come until just before Christmas, you’re forced to pass the hours by watching cable TV. You sit down at home with your ice-cold Mountain Dew Arctic Burst and a fresh Hot and Ready pepperoni pizza from Little Caesar’s…crazy bread and sauce included, obviously. You have no idea that it’s only a matter of time before getting this much food for less than $10 will be impossible. Since the newest episode of Survivor doesn’t air for at least a few hours and you just returned all your DVDs to that weird red box at the grocery store, you decide to flip through the channels.
What’s this? Fuel TV? Sign me up! Oh, and who is this guy absolutely ripping on a high-performance longboard (in 4×3 aspect ratio, obviously)? Julian Wilson? Hmmm…never heard of him. He shreds. “Man, these high-performance longboarders really throw those things around like they’re on a 6’4″ nowadays,” you say to yourself. “Probably translates pretty well to riding a shortboard for this guy. I wonder if he could hang on the Championship Tour?”
This thought experiment lingers. Kelly Slater did just break Andy Irons’ three-peat and he’s doing pretty well this year now, too. Surely, if Kelly wins one more — his eighth — he’ll hang them up. What more could a guy accomplish now that he’s in his 30s, after all? Yeah, retirement is definitely coming any day now. Plus, we’ve got like five more years at least before that 13-year-old blonde kid you heard about from the North Shore takes the torch. So maybe this Australian dude spitting fire (a phrase you are still a decade-plus away from using regularly) could be a big deal someday, you know?
Nah. That’ll never happen. The edit ends. Pat Parnell greets you. You take another sip of your Slurpee. Man, life is so rad in 2006.
