The Inertia Contributing Writer

The Inertia

We’ve all been pretty steamed lately, right? That’s why, in these trying times, the San Clemente Pier needs a 12-foot tall steel statue of late “Fast and the Furious” star Paul Walker. That’s the message that two apparent surfer bros took to the San Clemente and Burbank city councils recently.

No doubt, Walker is a unifying figure. And his cousin might have gone to high school in San Clemente… maybe?

This shouldn’t detract from their passionate message or articulate plea. But my guess is that Chad Kroeger (the name of Nickelback’s lead singer) and Bodhi Johnson (Bodhi, seriously?) are trying out material from a script they’re writing about two hapless but civic-minded surfers looking to end the harsh on everyone’s mellow.

We strongly urge you to watch all stunning 6 minutes and 13 seconds of this video from the San Clemente City Council. And just to ensure you do, below are a few of the best lines dropped by our “freelance journalists.” If their script gets picked up, we might all want to buy a ticket.

Chad Kroeger: “To be in a city where you can have a surf session and then go to City Council meeting within the span of an hour, I think that shows the American Dream is still very much alive.”

Chad Kroeger: “I was 11-years-old when my first love Ashley betrayed me by moving to Newport Beach. I felt lost, alone, bummed. And it was in that melancholy that my dad took me to see The Fast And The Furious, where for an hour and 47 minutes I transcended my worries because I had just met my new hero, Paul Walker. Afterward, at Carl’s Jr., I thought about what Paul taught me. I think the most inspiring thing was the fact that even after Dominic Torreto beat him in that first race, Paul still managed to bed his sister, pretty inspiring.”

Bodhi Johnson: “We’ve been to all the Council hangouts around SoCal trying to build the statue. Watching that movie was epically life-changing. It gave me the courage to ask out Shelby.”

Bodhi Johnson: “I’m pretty sure Paul’s cousin went to St. Clemente High School, for at least for a couple semesters. And Paul’s spirit encompasses what this town is all about. Which is why I’m here before you today. The thing is, though, I’m really busy right now, I’m taking a couple junior college classes, and I don’t have time to be driving all over fighting for statues.”


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