I think you’re just what I needed? Photo: KS Wave Co
It pains me to say this, but maybe, just maybe, the whole wave pool thing is exactly what professional surfing needs.
…
Sorry, I just had to run to the bathroom. I was a little bit sick in my mouth.
I’m not a fan of the homogenization of pro surfing at all, and I fear that is precisely what will happen in a wave pool. Repetitive surfing, with one air/barrel/cutback indistinguishable from the next. There’ll be standardized equipment, and flashing banner ads round the pool advertising Purps or waterproof sanitary towels. Blonde wannabe world champions will be farmed out of middle-class, middle America, all with Donald Trump hair. (When’s he getting to surf Kelly’s pool anyway?) It will be ugly, and possibly dull, but we will have created it.
The whole idea of holding competitions on identical, scheduled waves horrifies me. It’s totally contrary to what attracted me to surfing in the first place. But that’s just it. Surfing is definitely a lot of fun. It might even be a form of art, or self expression, if you’re that way inclined. But what surfing really isn’t cut out to be is a competitive, entertaining sport. It lacks all the necessary ingredients: consistency, professionalism, structure, a level playing field, clearly defined rules, goalposts which don’t shift, broadcastability…I may have made that last word up but I could go on.
And isn’t it ironic that the Fiji Pro, arguably one of the best Tour stops, is currently highlighting everything that’s wrong with pro surfing? Fiji is undoubtedly a world class location, but we can’t legislate for the weather. Being hamstrung by flat spells kind of takes the shine off the fact that the creme de la creme of world surfing are supposed to be showcasing their talents right now. Instead, they are sitting through multiple laydays waiting for something to happen. It’s easy for fans to become distracted by real sport, like the European Soccer championships (with guaranteed competition and fierce battles between fans and players alike) and forget that the Fiji Pro is running at all. Meanwhile the “athletes” spend time giving each other wacky haircuts and having an extended piss up. In a way I’m happy for them, Taj Burrow deserves a good send off at his last event on Tour, as I’ve already reflected, but it’s hardly the pinnacle of sporting entertainment for us.
So maybe I just need to suck it up and accept it. If surfing is to have a competitive future then it might be ugly. It might need to be manufactured, structured and artificial. Maybe I’ll hate it and lose interest altogether; maybe I’ll surprise myself grow to love it. But either way, at least I’ll get to bloody watch it.
