Senior Editor

The Inertia

Here’s something you’ll find completely ironic about this post: one of the things Dane Reynolds hates, that he eloquently lists above, is re-posting content. Having worked with both Dane and Kelly Slater on original content, I’m giving myself a fucking pass here. Because this story he relates about golfing with Kelly is too good not to at least mention.

While Dane comes off as a bit of a curmudgeon in the vid (appropriately produced by Monster Children on this, Halloween), don’t let that fool you. He’s actually a pretty good guy, probably a good dad, fairly sensitive, and all that…yada, yada. But I have to agree, I hate golf, too. First off, it’s supposedly the type of fun that you have to pay for over and over again. The kind of fun where you end up chasing a little white ball all over the place in frustration during the four hours it takes you to play a mere nine holes. The kind of fun that if you haven’t paid to play enough, you really end up sucking at. No, I admittedly prefer the fun where you pay up front for some kind of board and then hike or duck dive in struggle to pay for your enjoyment. At least that way you’re not getting fat drinking too many beers and sucking at something at the same time.

But here, Dane relates a story about Kelly–a similarly good dude, but in a different way of course–about golfing with the GOAT. He was apparently drinking beers with friends in Tahiti during a round or two on the course with Kelly when the legend let him and the rest of the group have it for not taking the game seriously enough. Kelly is notoriously meticulous about everything he does so one can see that scenario playing out. Like Tom Brady yelling at an anonymous receiver for screwing around during a walk-through. Or Michael Jordan punching teammates during practices. But more to the point, golf definitely sucks.


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