I know what you’re thinking: “What the heck is Santa doing in Tahiti?” It’s an honest question, and one that we had ourselves. So we did a bit of digging and found out from an inside source that Santa spends the offseason keeping a low profile in a quaint beachside community in Mexico, just surfing, bronzing, and consuming copious amounts of tacos and Tecate. Not a bad gig, right?
When we arrived, Santa was in a bit of a rut, as he explained the beer was getting warm and the waves went flat. He also said something about Mrs. Claus always being on his back, so he thought he’d test his luck elsewhere. After a week-long bender in the Mexican jungle, Santa woke up and found himself on the other side of the equator, getting barreled off his head in paradise. This, ladies and gentlemen, is how Kris Kringle (aka Geirari Williams) came to getting barreled in Tahiti.
