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Roughly two weeks ago I had a friend in town whom I took surfing for his first time. He was hooked! To thank me, when I got back from work later that day, he presented me two of my boards that he stripped down and freshly waxed. Apparently, he watched a YouTube video first to make sure he was doing it right. The next day, we surfed at San Onofre—and I couldn’t believe how well I was sticking to my board! I feel like my surfing improved at least three notches (not that there’s scale—I just felt like I was surfing better and had more control of the board). I guess I took for granted how much it matters to really take good care of your board and keep it groomed. And not just by applying countless coats of wax over the old (like I had been doing out of pure laziness), but actually taking the time to strip off the old wax and apply the new every few months or so, keeping the sand out of the wax, or at least applying a surf comb every now and then.

This brings me to my segue of making men stick. I know there’s this whole attitude for women (and men) out there that “someone should just love me for me.” Though I agree with this to some extent, I think this is sometimes just an excuse, a front, and a wall to get lazy with our health and appearance. But what if we put our best foot forward and still fail to get noticed? If you truly take care of yourself, you will get noticed, I promise. Every female (and male) has beautiful and attractive qualities about them. So take em’ out of hiding!

It’s so easy for me to dress on the grungy side (mascara smudged under my tired eyes, chipped nail polish, baggy clothes) when I’m on my way to the ocean, the taco stand, or Trader Joe’s. I tell myself that if I meet the man of my dreams on one of these outings, that he’ll fall in love with me regardless of what I’m wearing or how I look. I know in my gut that’s crap though—I’m really just lazy and am trying to make excuses, which is not a very attractive attitude now, is it?

Though I think that our cultural female beauty ideal is on the thin side (especially in the surfing community) and that it’s a tragedy that so many females find their identity mainly in their appearance, I think it’s critical to embrace that men will be more attracted to us and stick around longer the better we take care of ourselves (eat right and enough), exercise, wear clothing that suits us, shave/wax (ok, some men like hairy armpits, but I don’t think I’m going out on a limb here by saying that most men don’t), smell nice, etc. It’s human instinct to be attracted to someone who takes care of themselves and looks their best. And many single women out there who say otherwise are just cheating themselves out of potential suitors—even the good-to-the-core-solid men. Also, when women take better care of themselves, they’re more likely to be feel more confident which exudes mucho beauty.

For female surfers, does this mean picking up one of those long-sleeved wetsuits that flaunt your gorgeous thighs? Sure! Does this mean putting on a little beige-tinted zinc instead of spreading a glop of white goo all over your face? Yep! If you’re single and disagree with all of this, that’s fine. Keep dressing like a man. Choose to never wear make-up and go for that complete “natural” look (though some girls can pull this off). Eat fast food often and drink yourself a beer belly. But stop complaining that you don’t get asked out and wonder where all of the good men are who should “just love me for me”. And of course this goes for men too. Us surfer girls love the laid-back surfer look—as long as you smell nice, brush your teeth, and trim that scruff on your face every once in a while.

Just as a well groomed board makes surfers stick better, so will grooming and taking care of yourself attract more men (and women) and make them stick (around) too.

-Tara, SurfDateBook.com

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