Steph Gilmore’s grace and return to form? Certainly good. Women not having more events – and none in Hawaii? Very bad. Photo: ASP
The Bad
Women Don’t Get Contests…in Hawaii
“Maybe we need to petition…use Alana’s Instagram…I don’t know.” Coco Ho’s speech at the Surfer Poll only got a few nervous laughs from the peanut gallery, probably because the young woman hit a little too close to the mark. The only way women are getting to dip into the money flow and the good waves right now is by being born with good bone structure and showing that T & A whenever they can. If surfing really isn’t just any old sport, as most surfers claim, they need to start acting like it with regards to female athletes.
Energy Drinks
When the FDA blitzes the press with reports of possible health concerns connected to your product and you respond by hunkering down and waiting for it all to blow over while you continue to market to children, you need to sort your damn life out. These drinks probably are no worse for people than many products, but we need to know for sure. Red Bull, Monster, Rockstar and all the rest have demonstrated through their silence that they simply aren’t interested in the wellbeing of you or your kids.
Tail High Generation Slump
If you tuned into any competition webcasts this year you would have seen Kelly Slater fighting for a world title with Joel Parkinson and Mick Fanning. You would have been forgiven for thinking it was 2005. Remember when The Modern Collective came out and everyone was talking about the ModCol generation or the Tail High Generation? Three years down the line, Dane Reynolds lives in web edit land, Yadin Nicol just dropped off tour after a lackluster year, Jordy Smith can’t find the semis with both hands and a phone book, Dusty Payne couldn’t make his way out of a heat, and many of the guys doing the most progressive maneuvers in the game now speak Portuguese as a mother tongue. Before you ban me from your shitty beach break with threats of mob justice, allow me to acknowledge that the pro tour doesn’t seem to mean as much as it once did. Reynolds remains one of the most relevant men in the sport, and Smith continues to be, in my opinion, the best surfer without a title on tour. But somehow, they aint the Momentum Generation, are they? What do they lack? Drive, well-roundedness, a booming VHS market and/or real personal ties to each other? One way or another, the anointed ones of a few years ago appear to be in a sophomore slump.
Read The Ugly on Page 3.
