The cover of Hartman’s heartbreaking book and the rescue crews on the day Max died. Photos: Hartman//Twitter//Dick Tesce
In the spring of 2020, a tragedy occurred at Scheveningen Beach, a well-known surfing spot in Holland. Five surfers were killed in a freak accident after they drowned in a huge amount of sea foam whipped up by stormy conditions. In the wake of their deaths, the mother of one of the victims began writing a series of letters to her seven-year-old daughter in an attempt to “explain the inexplicable.” Those letters eventually turned into a book called Rauw, which became a national bestseller in the Netherlands. Now, five years later, Marjolein Hartman has published the English edition, titled Max: A Mother’s First Year of Raw Grief.
When Marjolein’s son died, he was just 22 years old. Two bodies were pulled from the water on the evening of May 11, but as the wind and swell piled the sea foam up and darkness fell, the search was called off at 10:45 p.m. Three surfers were still missing at the time. Tragically, they were found the next morning when the search resumed. One of them was Marjolein’s son, Max Verheijen.
Dealing with the loss of a child is nearly impossible, but Max: A Mother’s First Year of Raw Grief, has resonated deeply with those who’ve been affected by such tragedy. The pain of the death of a loved one doesn’t necessarily ever go away. It becomes muffled with time, but it’s still there somewhere, buried a little more deeply by each day’s passing. Grief can be a lonely thing, and Hartman’s book has been described by readers as a “sea of recognition.” That pain might not go away, but knowing you’re not alone in feeling it can help to sand the edges down.
“It’s an honest and intimate look into what it means to lose your child in a freak accident,” Hartman told me about her book, “and how to keep breathing through the silence, the disbelief, and the fierce, unrelenting love that remains.”
The story begins in the days shortly after Marjolein found out her son was dead. She wrote daily, and the words that spilled out are a heartbreaking look at her unbridled sadness and pain as they poured out on the page.
“Structured like a baby’s first year — counted in days, weeks, and months — this book takes the reader with her from the first unbearable shock to the long, silent ache of a missing future,” the book’s description reads. “This is not a memoir written years later with distance and insight. This is grief from the inside. Hartman writes in real time, still gasping, still searching for breath. She shares everything — rage, disbelief, sorrow, and love — with piercing honesty and fierce motherly devotion.”
Hartman donated all the profits from the original Dutch edition to the Royal Netherlands Sea Rescue Institution (KNRM), the rescue service that led the rescue efforts that night. The English edition will continue on in that spirit, with 100 percent of the proceeds being donated to KNRM.
Find Max: A Mother’s First Year of Raw Grief on Amazon here.
