The Inertia Rock & Roll Scientist

The Inertia

Scanning the anger in this site’s comment sections has been a favorite pastime of mine for 5 years now. After all, no animal is more easily set off than the supposedly chill surfer, and seeing the chill surfer rage spilled out onto social media is fine entertainment. However, it’s not such a fun little diversion when you peruse a post about something real like the environment, and a handful of political pawns are there spouting off about how climate change ain’t so. ‘TIS, motherfuckers! And now I’M pissed off this week, too.

I mean, say what you want about my momma, but if any of you cheesedicks try to tell me that anthropogenic global warming isn’t real, I will rip you a new asshole. If you deny scientific consensus in a dream, you better wake up and apologize.

I happen to care a lot about science and how it pertains to our natural world. I chose to study it, and was blessed with a lot of really great teachers who changed my life. Ask yourself, what is it that you care about? Whatever it is – maybe that big blue thing that all your waves splash out of – you might want to consider that humanity ruining its own ride for some short-term creature comforts isn’t the greatest value system. Like it or not, you’re not gonna be able to fill the sky with burnt sludge forever, any more than you can keep eating entire pizzas by yourself post-college.


Now, as we touched on last week, Leonard DiCaprio’s a guy who examined his own values and decided that he ought to campaign hard for conscientious environmental policy. I for one think that’s pretty noble? When your life consists of deciding whether you’d rather drown in coin or drown in ass, opting to spend most of your days pressuring the global power structure for more responsible development is a pretty principled pursuit.

A few of you questioned his authenticity for some reason. Well, as I write this, Leo’s tweeted 36 times in the new year: Thirty four are about protecting the environment from corporate interests (one briefly thanks his peers for his long-awaited Oscar, and one is kind words about something else that was promptly trolled by climate change deniers). So this speech wasn’t some put-on.

Let me ask, do you guys Internet much? ‘Cause I internet a lot. And the biggest actor of his era waiting decades for his first Oscar was one of the bigger jokes on the internet. But not to him! This guy waited and waited for this validation, and then chose to use the biggest moment of his whole life to talk about our irresponsible inaction on global warming. You’re looking for something to share on social media? Here’s the most badass speech you’ve ever heard at a garbage awards show. It didn’t stop some esteemed readers from trying to feel superior, though.

Listen, no one cares if you think he’s a “limousine liberal” or you read some cute story about a “chinook” and then pretended you were suddenly a weatherman. Try and imagine going out into the wilderness for a year with the best cinematographer in the biz, to get those perfect snow shots. You’re out in Western Canada, where it snows, reliably. Only, it’s the hottest year we’ve ever seen, and snowfall there has been (and still is) way down. And you’re dying on camera eating rubbish sleeping in dirt freezing your nips off, but your team can’t ever get the shots it needs. You sit on the phone with a local meteorologist every single night for an hour, but things is still tough. Sounds like a good anecdote. Only when you tell it at the Oscars to get people to perk up before you hit em with The Message, a bunch of fake experts sound off. This production struggled all year to get a decent snowscape, resorting to trucking snow in, and snowmaking machines, and changing locations, but oh, a few smarmy folks want to dismiss it all with some condescending cracks about a hot wind that blew in for a few days? Listen to the speech. Was his message wrong? Was it not the hottest year ever recorded?

Ay, whiners, get this straight:

GLOBAL WARMING ISN’T POLITICS. IT’S ETHICS. The research is there, and you didn’t perform any of it, so take a break from trying to sound smart and listen to the people who actually are smart, like Leo and the rest of us do. Damn.

Here’s just a light sample of rebuttals to our post about Leo’s epic Oscars speech:

Unfollowing. You should’ve stuck with action sports @theinertia.

Yeah, @theinertia, what does the health of our environment have to do with that sport we do in the ocean? Man, can’t wait to find out what this commenter’s job is, so I can tell him to STICK TO IT.

Leonardo of all people… That just makes me realize you have no clue.

Hope Capri o is riding a bike around the world to be green. Yeah right.

Leo fucking loves bikes, guy.

DiCaprio has no private jet. He has no mega yacht. If you haven’t gathered, he’s a prominent environmentalist. When he’s not working on a multitude of green docs, yeah, he’s flown places on movie industry jets. And one time, he did stay on an industry acquaintance’s yacht that was sitting in a harbor during the World Cup. Apparently, this guy is also a gigantic movie star with a nine-figure net worth who does insanely cool shit sometimes. But let me know when you find his speech about avoiding fancy planes and boats, and how we all need to wear a hairshirt and read by candlelight, and I’ll permit your reckless deployment of the H-word. Readers! You can push for green leadership like Leo spoke about, and still ride your petroleum-based board in the meantime without being a dreaded hypocrite. You know who’s a hypocrite? All the dumber surfers out there that front like hippies but fight like sailors and litter like New Yorkers. But let’s not concern ourselves with every little glass house when all of us are living in one giant greenhouse.

“2015 the hottest year on record”, is false and tricksey.

Hi reader! No, that is indeed an empirical fact. Hottest. By a lot, actually. Easily surpassed the previous record…set last year…and this new year is expected by many to set yet another record. Next?

Just a little something from NASA.

Just a little something from NASA.

Except it’s not and they have already been caught manipulating the data. Goodbye Inertia

So, this clever fellow is referring to when a bunch of slimeballs hacked & altered scientists’ emails in order to undermine a climate summit and attempt to trick the public. Then, nine different investigations determined there was absolutely no scientific wrongdoing, but more than six years later, you can still find someone parroting the same lie. Nahhh.

I’m not sold on the climate change theory, not to long ago they thought earth was getting colder…I follow you for the content you post, not this crap though.

Ah, the old ‘colder’ canard: yet another familiar, dishonest soundbite, pushed hard by the frauds that pretend there’s another side to this story. If this guy can read, he oughta read this book. If he has a shorter attention span, he can read this blurb.

Liberals used to say global warming but it didn’t get warmer so they changed it to climate change

No, everyone’s always said both through all these decades of rapid, manmade warming. But you know who did recommend getting away from saying “global warming?” A brand strategist with the oil industry, worried people were starting to care.

I don’t disagree that the climate is constantly changing, but what the difference between all the shit we have running vs all of the active volcanoes.

Well, volcanoes are part of an existing cycle that doesn’t give a shit about us. We’re adding energy to this system, shifting the baseline, disrupting homeostasis. That’s kind of like saying, “Hey, I don’t disagree that the sun heats my house during the day. But what [sic] the difference if I also steadily increase the thermostat forever?”

Then there is this:

You lose such points you dummy climate change has Ben happening from the beginning oh and there is nothing you can do about it and a nother thing your stupid prious cat is word for the environment than my ford prious powered by Cole nuclear:-/ I’m all for being super efficient in all ways but the @greenmafia is making 60 billion a year so fuck you guys ps I live on a slab 50 feet away from the Pacific Ocean in Hawaii

If you wrote this one, hit us up, we’d like to send you a prize.

The fact remains that learning about something as complex as THE ENTIRE PLANET involves more than reading a tea party leaflet paid for by ExxonMobil. Scientists spend their lives busting their asses to figure out a little piece of how the universe works, and they do it for all of us, so think twice about going off half-cocked about things you ain’t up on.

But, by all means, try and get up on it. Because when you objectively examine all the evidence in detail, you’ll come to understand the risks we face, and that’ll be helpful for societal change. Scientists have been diligently working on things, politicians meanwhile are sucking, and the rest of us who pick the politicians owe it to ourselves to get woke. And if you don’t know that much right now, but you’ve heard some snappy barbs about how this is all a hoax, here’s one good resource for getting to the truth of the matter, and here’s one of many great videos for grasping how this conversation ever got so twisted.

READERS! I stress this, if you’re iffy/pissy/curious about any of this, feel free to email me. We can kill a six-pack at The Inertia HQ and hash it all out friendly-like as fellow humans. We’re in this together, after all. Stay free.


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