Winning free shit is just about the greatest. Winning a trip to Fiji… well, that’s go to be up there with the greatest of the greatest. Throw Kelly Slater and Shane Dorian into the mix, and you’ve got yourself a recipe for something pretty damn good.
All you have to do is donate to one of four worthy causes: SurfAid, MORE Than Sport Foundation, Skate to School Scholarship Fund, or Smile Train, and you’re entered to win. That’s a good deal!
Omaze, an “online cause marketplace”, is putting the whole thing together. After opening your wallet just a little bit (as little as ten bucks, you cheap bastard), they might send you and your best/luckiest friend to Tavarua, where Kelly and Shane will vie for your affections like cheerleaders after the quarterback. Kelly will bring pom-poms!
It does make one think, though–what happens if you, Kelly, and Shane just hate each other? Then you’re stuck on a trip of a lifetime fake-smiling at each other, silently boiling inside like a covered cauldron full of rancid meat. Because who knows? A week–November 28th to December 4th, to be exact–is a long time to spend with two people you don’t actually know.
I don’t know either of them, but I’ve briefly met both of them. Kelly and I argued after he called one of my friends a psychopath (he’s not!) and I drank too many mai tais. But he seemed like a very nice person in real life, and I like to think it’s all water under the bridge, although he will not return my emails, and I’m reasonably sure he doesn’t actually know who I am or remember our little talk at Lei Lei’s.
Shane, on the other hand, I have not had the pleasure of actually speaking with. I asked him a question and held a microphone into his mouth. It was a snarky answer. I think he pegged me as a piece of shit before I actually reached him. To be fair, I have been called a piece of shit numerous times, so he might just be a really good judge of character.
“How does it feel to be invited to the Eddie?” I asked him last winter after he paddled in at Waimea. He paused, looking at me like I was very, very stupid. “Good,” he answered, already walking away. Thanks for the quote, Shane. I watched Blueprint a thousand times! I defended your performance in In God’s Hands! And all you give me is “good”?
Anyway, chances are that a week on Tavarua with two guys who know the island inside and out will be amazing. Kelly will get your face tattooed on his shoulder, and Shane will be your new roomie. Assuming you get along. Which you will!
