Barack Obama seen bodysurfing his beloved Sandy Beach here in 2008. But where has he been? He's been missing in the lineup. Photo: Associated Press

Barack Obama seen bodysurfing his beloved Sandy Beach here in 2008. But where has he been? He’s been missing in the lineup for years! Photo: Associated Press

The Inertia

The holidays are over and the world has settled back, albeit reluctantly, into their usual routine, even the POTUS. Along with the rest of the country, Barack Obama and the First Family enjoy a yearly vacation during the national holiday season, typically jaunting from Washington D.C. to the Commander in Cool’s homeland of Hawaii.

And during these White House walkouts, the Big Man has been seen enjoying island life like the rest of the commoner plebes. Like recently he was seen having some shaved ice, a popular proletariat treat. He even hiked the Koko Head Stairs of Doom, surprising fellow hikers with his mere presence and the fact that he did the grueling walk on his own two feet instead of being hoisted on the shoulders of his minions.

But bodysurfing, one of Mr. Obama’s favorite plebeian past-times, has gone unseen from his vacations in past years. And the world demands to know why. Why haven’t we seen the President’s chiseled abs shredding at his beloved Sandy Beach in so many years?

As it turns out, the fame, the celebrity, the army of sunglass-wearing, karate-knowing bodyguards have put Obama’s shredding career on hold.


“The Secret Service these days does not like me doing it,” Obama told American Urban Radio Networks. “The last time I tried it, they had a bunch of people out on jet skis in the water and surrounding me with all kinds of stuff, and it was a little distracting for the other swimmers.”

At least Barack’s eight-year reign in political office will be coming to an end towards the tail end of this year, a new wide-eyed world leader taking his place. It’s unclear whether his denouement from office will bring turmoil or prosperity, world peace or a Donald Trumpian catastrophe. But one thing’s for sure – once again, Obama will shred.


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