Laird Hamilton has a lot of irons in the fire. People give him money to make them work out until they vomit. He runs around the globe for a morning jog, hikes Everest naked each evening just to watch the sunset, and bench presses shipping containers full of lead on his rest day. He foil boards and hydro foils and aluminum foils and foils the plot. He does all of this (and more!) while the stinging barbs of the angry, fat, lazy internet commenter bounce off his bronze skin. And now, he’s added another thing to a long list of things he does exceptionally. He’s an ambassador of sleep. That’s right. Laird even sleeps better than you.
Of course, sleep is very important to your general health. And you, if you are anything like the majority of people in the world, don’t sleep very well. You stare at your phone, that blue light penetrating your brain. You toss and you turn and gobble sleeping pills that make you feel like a piece of soggy bread in the morning. You fall asleep late, wake up early, and spend all day doing things that don’t actually wear your body out. Oh, you might FEEL like you did, but you just sat at your computer all day and did accounting or whatever the non-Laird activity you do for a living is.
Laird’s the newest brand ambassador for SleepScore Labs, “which is seeking to use state-of-the-art contactless sleep monitoring technology to improve its customers’ quality of sleep.” Laird, much like Chuck Norris, doesn’t actually SLEEP. He WAITS.
“Sleep is a foundation to my training because it’s vital for muscle regeneration, mental recovery, and more importantly, long-term health,” Hamilton said in a statement. “I’m able to chase the upper limits of my abilities by committing to a balance of exercise, diet and rest. As a brand ambassador for SleepScore Labs, I want to highlight the massive benefits of adequate rest and sleep, and the empowerment SleepScore technology gives me to maximize success.”
So what, exactly, does SleepScore do? Well, it measures a lot of things, like how long it takes you to fall asleep, how much time you spend in each sleep cycle, room temperature, and light and noise levels, then gives suggestions on how you can improve your sleep. Chances are good that it will tell you to get more exercise and sleep in a dark, quiet room. But it’s only true if science tells you, and if, as they say, science is proof of God’s existence, and Laird is part of this science experiment, then Laird is science and by default, Laird is God.