For $1,500, you too can be the proud owner a surfboard made by Tesla. Image: Tesla
Elon Musk, that sly world-saving rocketship maker, has entered the surfboard game. It’s a strange collaboration between the Tesla Design Studio and Matt Biolos’s …Lost Surfboards. Are you as confused as I am? Like, why would Tesla dip their toes into our scummy waters? Is Elon suddenly attracted to our strong, tanned shoulders and salty hair?
“The Limited Edition Tesla Surfboard features a mix of the same high-quality matte and gloss finishes used on all our cars,” reads Tesla’s website. “The deck is reinforced with light-weight “Black Dart” carbon fiber, inspired by the interiors in our cars, and featuring tonal logos in subtle contrast gloss.”
A long time ago, I was surfing next to a man with a carbon fiber surfboard. He wasn’t very good, but he was very friendly. All of his equipment was next-level. As in-water conversations generally do, ours turned to surfboards. Mine, a bruised and battered mini mal (sorry, it’s California) that no one in their right mind would ever buy from me, and his, a sleek, black, shiny spaceship, clearly shaped for steep, hollow waves. “What’d that set you back?” I asked him. “Oh, about $1,500,” he answered casually before blowing another takeoff.
Don’t leave it in the sun, because it will become a frying pan for your stomach. Image: Tesla
As it turns out, that surfboard was in the Tesla surfboard range. It also costs $1,500, and only 200 will be made. They’ll be made with …Lost’s Black Dart carbon fiber, which may or may not just be regular carbon fiber with a name. At 6’8 by 20 1/2 by 2 7/8, with an EPS core, no stringer, bio-based epoxy, a relatively high volume, and a low entry rocker, it’s basically a surfboard that almost guarantees the rider will have a GoPro mount stuck on the nose and a set of those webbed gloves. And for $1,500, you don’t get any fins thrown in. But there’s something else that will have the Tesla-driving surfer market (all three of them) excited: the “Model S, X and 3 can comfortably accommodate this surfboard on either the inside or outside of the vehicle.”
Are you one of the three? Buy it here and hang it on your wall, because your ding repair guy probably won’t touch the thing.
