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Tesla surfboard

For $1,500, you too can be the proud owner a surfboard made by Tesla. Image: Tesla


The Inertia

Elon Musk, that sly world-saving rocketship maker, has entered the surfboard game. It’s a strange collaboration between the Tesla Design Studio and Matt Biolos’s …Lost Surfboards. Are you as confused as I am? Like, why would Tesla dip their toes into our scummy waters? Is Elon suddenly attracted to our strong, tanned shoulders and salty hair?

“The Limited Edition Tesla Surfboard features a mix of the same high-quality matte and gloss finishes used on all our cars,” reads Tesla’s website. “The deck is reinforced with light-weight “Black Dart” carbon fiber, inspired by the interiors in our cars, and featuring tonal logos in subtle contrast gloss.”

A long time ago, I was surfing next to a man with a carbon fiber surfboard. He wasn’t very good, but he was very friendly. All of his equipment was next-level. As in-water conversations generally do, ours turned to surfboards. Mine, a bruised and battered mini mal (sorry, it’s California) that no one in their right mind would ever buy from me, and his, a sleek, black, shiny spaceship, clearly shaped for steep, hollow waves. “What’d that set you back?” I asked him. “Oh, about $1,500,” he answered casually before blowing another takeoff.

tesla surfboards

Don’t leave it in the sun, because it will become a frying pan for your stomach. Image: Tesla

As it turns out, that surfboard was in the Tesla surfboard range. It also costs $1,500, and only 200 will be made. They’ll be made with …Lost’s Black Dart carbon fiber, which may or may not just be regular carbon fiber with a name.  At 6’8 by 20 1/2 by 2 7/8, with an EPS core, no stringer, bio-based epoxy, a relatively high volume, and a low entry rocker, it’s basically a surfboard that almost guarantees the rider will have a GoPro mount stuck on the nose and a set of those webbed gloves. And for $1,500, you don’t get any fins thrown in. But there’s something else that will have the Tesla-driving surfer market (all three of them) excited: the “Model S, X and 3 can comfortably accommodate this surfboard on either the inside or outside of the vehicle.”

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Are you one of the three? Buy it here and hang it on your wall, because your ding repair guy probably won’t touch the thing.

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