Senior Editor

I don’t know what Dan Bilzerian is famous for. I know he has a meticulously trimmed beard, large muscles, a love for giant guns, a plane full of women seemingly on standby at all times, and a lot of money, but I can’t for the life of me figure out what he actually DOES to be famous.

I read something about him a while ago, though, but I’ve mostly forgotten what it was. Something to do with him being a shitty poker player that good poker players call a “whale,” which means he sucks at poker but has a shitload of money they can suck out of him. I think he’s basically famous because he’s an unapologetic piece of shit, but I’ve never met the guy. Maybe he’s nice. I just can’t trust a guy with a meticulously trimmed beard, though. I mean, look at this. Just look at it, wouldja?


It’s #internationalwomensday be thankful

A post shared by Dan Bilzerian (@danbilzerian) on


He does, though, seem to be enjoying life. Can’t fault a guy for that. If he likes giant guns and eating sushi off groupies and keeping his beard meticulously trimmed, then more power to him, because that’s what he’s spending his life enjoying.

Everyone has a few stumbling blocks in life at some point. Sure, some people’s are worse than others–crippling debt, cancer, etc, but Dan’s… well, Dan’s stumbling blocks involve getting a Jet Ski stuck on the sand in Malibu. Thank god someone had the foresight to film him struggling with it! What does this have to do with surfing, you ask? Nothing! Absolutely nothing!


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