Looking for a job? This could be your new backyard if you land a job with Mark Zuckerberg. Photo: Karsten Winegeart//Unsplash//Mark Zuckerberg//screenshot
For the 8,000 employees who Mark Zuckerberg just laid off from Meta this week, there’s a new job opening that might be of interest. According to Wired, Zuckerberg is looking to grow the staff at his Kauai compound, advertising a position for — this is actually the title — a “Beach Water Person.”
This water person isn’t going to be any ordinary lifeguard. They must be a jack-of-all-trades. In addition to serving lifeguard duties at the beach and the pool, they will teach water activities like stand-up paddling, canoe, spearfishing, and snorkeling, work as a boat deckhand, provide water safety guidance, and clean vessels, vehicles, and equipment, among other tasks.
The right candidate will earn $50 to $55 per hour.
Potential candidates must have a lifeguard or water safety certification, a CPR/first aid certification, experience providing water safety in open-water environments, and experience instructing others in water activities. They’ll also be subject to a fitness assessment.
The job listing, which doesn’t actually say which company the job would be for, is stuffed with classic corporate lingo like “collaborate with cross-functional departments,” “operational efficiency,” and “seamless participant experiences.”
We reached out to Zuckerberg’s representatives for comment, but of course, have yet to hear back.
Zuckerberg’s continued land purchases on Kauai have been cause for concern among locals. In 2025, he bought a new $65-million plot near Pilaa Beach, growing his total land owned on the island to 2,300 acres (about 3.6 square miles). A new, $300-million compound is being constructed on the site, which locals have proven contains native gravesites, and say there might be even more that won’t be found due to access issues.
When Zuckerberg first bought land on the island in 2014, he filed lawsuits to acquire “kuleana land” — traditional Hawaiian rights to access land for resources. After public backlash, he dropped the lawsuits, but later found another way to secure the rights through a kuleana descendant.
Zuckerberg has argued that his ownership benefits the land, saying he has preserved large portions for conservation and farming rather than the luxury development previous owners had planned. He has also donated millions to local nonprofits and helped fund projects, including a school and affordable housing on the island.
There are many Hawaiians who fit the description for Zuckerberg’s Beach Water Person role. But has he tried reaching out to Laird Hamilton or Kai Lenny? Maybe John John Florence? He’s currently unemployed (sort of). They’d all be perfect.
Living on Kauai sounds tempting, so I figured I’d send my resume in. I was CPR-certified in 2018, stand-up paddle surfed once, and was a Santa Cruz junior guard from 1997 to 1999. Wish me luck.
