Former Eff Bee Eye Agent/Quarterback Punk

The Inertia

Surfers are a predictable bunch. We know this, man. First, surfers are liars: we de-exaggerate wave size, tube size, and sometimes even board size (why, I’ll never know). We also love compliments, like “nice wave,” or even, “you surfed that well.” Oh, and we think we love to see ourselves surf. Until we see ourselves surf. Then we wish it wasn’t video, it was a photo, which tells a thousand words while also lying. You see, a photo doesn’t capture an entire ride. If your friend on the beach is clicking fast enough, he or she can at least capture one perfect-ish moment. One that you can lie to your friends about.

My nonsensical little rant is simply to say this: the video above, posted to the internets recently, got me thinking deeply – like sitting around a beachfire talking story with Bodhi. Even with all the lips to the head, the boards to the face, the missed barrels, and terrible poo-stances, this edit doesn’t lie or de-exaggerate or any of those things. And I’d bet at least two plates of Nasi Goreng (and a Bintang) that these Bali tourists surf better than you. Why? Because they’re probably trust funders who can spend more time surfing than you do. They just had the unfortunate experience of getting caught sucking on camera. And like I said, surfers are predictable. At some point, we all suck. Some just do it less than others. So enjoy this little edit from Pererenan Beach. And don’t take yourself so seriously. Because that would be very, very predictable.

Editor’s Note: Johnny Utah is an “Eff-Bee-Eye” agent and an expert in works of satire. More of his investigative work can be found here


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