Stop. Just…stop.
No, it’s not First Point or County Line on a Saturday during a summer south swell. It’s sitting right atop American Apparel. You may know what I’m talking about. If you’ve driven PCH through Malibu, chances are sky high you’ve seen it.
In fact, I’m currently sitting in traffic on this stretch of PCH, and have been for the past 10 minutes, staring at this freak of nature wave. I can’t help but notice how irritated I am by it every single time I see it. Day after day, for years now. Enough is enough. How many other fellow surfers, appreciators of art, or fans of physics make this drive and shake their heads baffled at this deformity? I can no longer remain a silent prisoner to this gravity-defying mind fuck.
Here are five reasons this mural must be stopped:
1. The wind blows from two opposing directions.
2. If you’re going to commemorate Malibu surfing through a billboard-sized wave, it should at least resemble the local surf. Maybe a right pointbreak? Not Backdoor and Cloudbreak, side by side.
3. It might be from the opposing wind directions, but I have never seen such a heavy wave with such neatly compacted whitewater. When have you ever seen rectangle-shaped spray in nature?
4. The lip(s) of that wave have a mind of their own (see reason #1.)
5. The wave breaks from two different perspectives, which brings up a few questions. What happens in that tube? How deep does it go? Is there another dimension back there?
These points come from too much sun and too many hours on the PCH and are not to be taken too seriously. After all, art is in the eye of the beholder. Even if this wave is not of this universe.
